Old West Tales - The Big Boot

For an introduction to Old West Tales, click here: Old West Tales - Introduction

I admit that I have been friends with some people who went to Duke. One of my long-time friends and soccer buddies from Irmo, Kevin, went to Duke while I lived in Old West. Kevin was enemies with my friend Beattie. I would often go visit Kevin in Durham because it was such a happening place...

... just kidding, Kevin would come over to Chapel Hill every month or so and hang out because there were very few pretty girls at Duke.

Kevin was snobby even before he went to Duke and when he came to visit he would dress up and wear a sports coat. My roomate Vic didn't think very highly of Kevin. Kevin would come over and be really nice to Vic's girlfriend, Kristi, holding the door for her and stuff like that. When Vic would make fun of Kevin, Kristi would say, "Well, I like him - He is a gentleman." This infuriated Vic, which was the intent.

Burn-Out was a huge party at UNC out on the golf course at the Pi Kappa Phi house. There were bands, beer, and an official Haiwian Tropics Bikini Contest. Beattie came up for the weekend, arriving Thursday night. We were excited because a band that we liked, The Waxing Poetics, was playing Burnout.

Friday morning I got up and went off to class, with Vic, Beattie, and Joe Perry already starting to drink beer in Old West.

When I returned to the room a few a hours later, Beattie was pacing back and forth, downing beer, clenching his fists and repeating "I am going to kick his ass."

"What is going on?", I asked.

Apparently, Kevin had called from Duke and wanted to come over for Burnout. Vic had answered the phone and told Kevin to "Come on Over", while suppressing a giggle, since Vic knew full well that Kevin and Beattie hated each other.

Ever since the phone call, Vic and Joe (who also didn't like Kevin or his Duke attitude) had been pumping up Beattie, telling him all of the things that Kevin had been saying about him behind his back.

When I heard Kevin coming up the stairwell, I rushed out into the suite to meet him.

Beattie lept out of the room, pointed back down the stairs, and told Kevin to leave.

Kevin was speechless and stood looking at me like a wounded puppy. I just shrugged my shoulders. Kevin knew that he and Beattie could not co-exist at Burnout, and Durham was a lot shorter drive home than Sewannee or Columbia, so Kevin turned to leave. As he did so, Beattie put the sole of his shoe on Kevin's butt and nudged him down the stairs.

Out of my window, I watched Kevin emerge from the stairwell wearing cut off camos and Sambas, head hung low.

"I'll call you!" I shouted. Kevin raised a hand in acknowledgement and sulked away. Behind me, I could hear Vic and Joe laughing as Beattie boasted "I kicked Markland in the Ass."

I felt kind of bad, but it was pretty funny.