School of Flop - The Game

Remember the Jack Black Movie, School of Rock?

I have an idea for a new movie, staring former Duke basketball player Shane Battier, called:

SCHOOL OF FLOP

I promise this is the last installment.

If you haven't read parts 1 through 4, here they are:
Intoduction
The Duke Years
A Challenge
Flop Coach

Hey, this is former Duke basketball player and current Houston Rocket, Shane Battier.

You may remember me from my college career at Duke, simply as "Ridge Head" or "Klingon Head", but I am also known as "Flop-ee-aa" or "King of Flop"

Part V - Another Night at the Office for the King Of Flop

Announcer - Tonight, Shane and his Houston Rockets are hosting the Atlanta Hawks. I am aboard the Hawks' bus as it makes its way to the Arena.

Announcer leans over to a Hawk player who seems angry at being disturbed and pulls the Ipod buds out of his ears -

"Do you have a plan to counter the flopping of Battier?"

Hawk Player, "Battier is a chump....

Thud !

The Bus hits something and the driver slams on the brakes, the bus stops. All the players and coaches look around bewildered.

There is a knock on the door. The driver opens the door and a referee steps onto the bus and blows his whistle. The player who was being interviewed pokes his head out of the window to see Battier lying on his back in front of the bus, pumping his fists in the air.

As the referee is calling a charging foul on the entire Hawks team, the interviewed player screams out "Batttttiiiiieeeerrrr!"

The scene is now inside the arena. The crowd is electric as the Rockets are being introduced. Tracy McGrady is intoduced and he runs out and gives the other players high fives. Then Yao Ming is introduced to even more applause as he runs out and gives the other players high fives. Finally, Battier is intoduced to a cresindo of applause as he comes sliding out onto the court, backwards, on his butt, as if he had just drawn an offensive charging foul. The other players bend down and he gives them high fives as he slides past.

The camera is focused on Shane as the national anthem is being played. He proudly sings along. As the National Anthem ends, the camera shifts to the Hawks bench, where the Hawk players are standing and looking tough while the anthem playes, not singing.

When the Anthem ends, the Hawk players all sit down on the bench.

The referee then runs over, and again, calls the entire team for a charging foul.

They are pissed and they all stand back up, bewildered. Then they all look behind them at the same time and Battier is lying on his back, on the Hawks' bench pumping his fists in the air.

The entire game is then shown in a series of sports center type clips, all Battier flops where the opposing player is called for an offensive foul.

The game is very close. At the end of the game, the Hawks are winning 99 to 98. There is only .4 seconds left on the clock and it is the Rockets' ball at half court.

The Rockets are in the Huddle.

Yao Ming says "Lob the ball inside to me."

Tracy McGrady says "No, get the ball to me."

Shane Battier says "No, throw the ball to the other team."

The players go back on the court and the referee hands the ball to the Rocket throwing it in. The players from both teams are running all over the court, fighting for position. The referee is counting 2, 3, 4,...

The Rocket player throws the ball directly to a Hawk player who catches it.

The buzzer sounds and the Hawks start to celebrate. Then the referee runs out and calls an offensive foul on the player who caught the ball. It is the same player who was interviewd on the bus. As the camera pans down to Battier, lying on his back and pumping his fists, The Hawks player again screams,

"BBBaaattttiiieeerrr!!!!!"

Roll credits.