Turnipblog Dictionary - Wardrobe Wow!-Function

We have all heard of the new pop culture word "wardrobe malfunction".

I propose that there should be two different pop culture terms for when a celebrity's clothing gives way, depending on who the celebrity is and what body parts are exposed.

When Janet Jackson's breast pops out of her top during halftime of the superbowl = "Wardrobe Malfunction"

When Mrs. Universe Jennifer Hawkins has a mishap in an Australian mall = "Wardrobe Wow!-Function"

New Word - "Bell-ination"

A "Bellination" is a newly introduced fast food menu item that is made of the same basic 4 ingredients as all the other menu items.

Taco Bell invented the bellination. Just when you think that Taco Bell has come up with every possible way of combining a tortilla, ground meat product, cheese and lettuce, they come up with the Crunchwrap Supreme (pictured at right), another bellination.

For instance, here are some of the Taco Bell's Beef Taco Bellinations:

Hard Beef Taco,
Soft Beef Taco,
Hard Beef Taco Supreme,
Soft Beef Taco Supreme,
Beef Double Decker Taco,
Beef Double Decker Taco Supreme,
Baja Beef Soft Taco,
Baja Beef Hard Taco,
BLT Taco (This is Bacon, not beef, but it is so ridiculous that I included it)
Double Grande Taco,
Taco Lite,
Ranchero Beef Soft Taco, and
Ranchero Beef Hard Taco.

Now if we introduce chicken into the equation, we double our possible bellinations.

Introduce steak and triple the possible bellinations.

And that is just tacos.

Wrap the Soft taco up and we have a multitude of burrito bellinations.

Break up the hard taco shells and we have countless nacho bellinations.

Basically, Taco Bell can keep intoducing a new bellination every month until our sun burns out or goes supernova.

Toddler Dictionary - In the Zone

In the Zone - When you have been driving in the car for a few miles and then realize ...

... that there are no kids in the car and you have been listening to a children's CD.

or, In the Zone - When you are having a discussion about how to get dried candle wax off of your building's new carpet and a co-worker walks up and says

"I just read how to do it on the internet, you take a hot iron and a brown paper bag and put the bag on the wax and the iron on top of the paper bag and it heats the wax and the paper bag absorbs the wax."

and your first thought (This really happened to me, yesterday) is ...


... "I Don't know, that sounds an awful lot like the Cat In The Hat and the pink stain."

"To get wax off a carpet is easy" said The Cat,

A hot iron and brown paper bag will do that.

So with the bag on the ground the Cat ironed with his paws,

The wax came off of the carpet, but wound up on the Walls.

Toddler Dictionary - Biter

No, this term does not refer to a child that bites. Everyone knows that the way to deal with a biting child is to bite back.

Biter - A parent who pulls out a vehicle's back-seat shoulder-belt and then clamps their teeth on the belt to maintain slack so that their hands are free to install an infant seat.

Used in a Sentence - Most single parents with only two hands are biters.

Toddler Dictionary - "No, let me do it!"

When a toddler says ...

"No, let me do it!"

What they really mean is ...

"I can tell that you are in a hurry, but I know that I must be dressed before we can leave and I am enjoying this particular television program."

Used in a sentence ...

"No, let me do it!" Timmy cried as he yanked the Spongebob underwear from his mother's hands.

"No, let me do it!" Timmy cried as he yanked the Spongebob underwear from his mother's hands as she tried to explain that she was only positioning the underwear to get Timmy started.

This phrase is often followed by ...

The toddler holding the garment up and slowly poking his arms or toes aimlessly about the garment while he continues to watch television in the other direction.

This usually causes the parent to exclaim "Well then do it!"