Leon Wedding Photos

Our dear friend Leon Spencer got Married yesterday to Kelly Flowers at the Georgetown Chapel in Washington, DC. I was a groomsman. (click to enlarge the photos)



The ceremony was beautiful. The priest talked to Leon and Kelly about "vitamin P's" (words that describe marriage that start with the letter P) and how our perception of marriage changes from before we get married to after we have been married. The theme of the wedding perfectly tied together "vitamin P's" and how the nature of a relationship changes at the moment you say "I Do".

Congratulations Leon and Kelly!

Turnipblog Travel Tip - Baltimore/DC

Bring Chapstick

You Tube

You Tube is a website where people submit funny videos that you can watch. If you have ever been forwarded a funny video, it is probably on You Tube.

Here is the You Tube(link) . Check out Top Favorites; Crazy Dog(pictured at right), Real Life Simpsons Intro, Robot Dance, and Pokemon Theme Music Video.

Duke Elimination Day

Today is my favorite day of the year, the day that I would make a National Holiday if I were the President - Duke Elimination Day. LSU eliminated Duke from the NCAA Tournament 62 to 54.

This should also end the absurd talk of JJ Redick being the national player of the year. JJ once again choked (and cried) in the big game, going 3-of-18 and finishing with 11 points.

If I were President....

What are the first 2 things that you would you do if you were President(and the Presdient actually had the power to unilaterally pass legislation)?

If I were President:

1. Legalize it.

2. Make my favorite day of the year a National Holiday

Leave a comment, What would you do?

Small World

We are in Baltimore right now visiting Cyndy's brother Kevin. We drove up 10 hours from Columbia with the kids. On the way, we stopped in Rocky Mount, NC and ate dinner at a Waffle House. We were the only customers there and the owner gave us special attention. He was very nice and funny and did a magic trick for Madline. He looked just like the guy from Full House (not John Stamos or the America's Funniest Videos guy, the other guy).

As we were leaving he commented about leaving a boat. I asked about it and he said he had worked on cruise ships.

"Really, we took a cruise on our Honeymoon"

"What Cruise line?"

"Norwegian"

"What Ship?"

"Seaward"

"What year?"

"1996"

"I was your Cruise Director."

I confirmed he was telling the truth when he knew that the cruise show was Grease.

Leon's Bachelor Party

My good friend Leon Spencer is getting married this weekend. Saturday night was Leon's Bachelor party. We ended up at a gentleman's club. It was very late and very smoky so I walked outside for some fresh air.

Two girls were arguing just outside the club. One said to the other "I don't care what you do!" and went inside. The remaining girl then proceeded to have a full blown Tonic-Clonic, or Grand Mal, seizure. She fell to the ground right beside me and started convulsing. Soon she was lying on her back with her head facing down a long flight of cement steps. I was afraid she was going to bash her head open or vibrate her way down the steps, so I grabbed her and held the back of her head. Her eyes were rolled way back in her head and she was foaming at the mouth. Soon a bouncer came and we both held her. The seizure lasted well over a minute. Eventually, she quit convulsing and would look at someone trying to speak to her, but she couldn't talk. Another bouncer came and they carried her down the steps.

I came back outside to check on her a few minutes later and she was sitting up, babbling incoherently on her cell phone. The bouncer went inside and found her friend. They started arguing again and the girl refused to believe that she had had a seizure. She started demanding a cell phone to call 911 to report that her friend had stole her purse (?). The friend and bouncers refused to give her a phone, or call the police for her. Finally, her friend coaxed her into a car and they left.

Now for the interesting part of my story. While inside the club we were sitting at a table. A young lady came up beside me and started asking if I wanted I private dance. I refused to make eye contact and started shaking my head "no" vigorously.

The girl asked Brian, who was sitting next to me "Is He Gay?"

Brian leaned over and told the girl something and she took off faster than I would have thought possible for someone wearing a leapord-skin bodysuit.

Brian started laughing and then he told me what he had said to the girl and we both laughed for a couple of minutes. When she asked "Is he gay?", Brian answered...



..."No, he ran out of money."

New Coach K Commercials

Have you seen new, annoying, Coach K commercials shown during the NCAA Tournament?

Coach K Commercials(link)

2006 Weblog Awards.

Did you know that blog is actually short for "weblog"?

The 2006 Weblog Awards(link) were recently awarded and Turnipblog won Best Weblog Ever.

Other notable winners included:

PostSecret(link) - Best American Weblog, Best Topical Weblog, Best Community Weblog, Best New Weblog AND Weblog of the Year.

Girl with a One-Track Mind(link) - Best British or Irish Weblog.

Tarheels still National Champions.

The National Champion Tarheels begin play in the NCAA Tournament today.

Click on - my poster from Last year's championship game to enlarge.

American Idol - VFTW

How did uber-chump Scott Savol make it so far on American Idol 4?

Why is Kevin Covais (a.k.a. Chicken Little) still around on American Idol 5, and not even in the bottom 3 last night?

The answer is WWW.Vote for The Worst.Com(link).

My NCAA Bracket

(Click to Enlarge)

They Grow Up So Fast

Every parent has experienced it - Your child says or does something that shows he/she is growing up and isn't your little baby anymore. You are at the same time proud and a little sad.

This happened to me the other morning. I heard a familiar "blipping" sound, came downstairs, and observed Sam on the couch. He didn't see me, but I watched him, and a tear came to my eye as I saw this...



He was using Tivo.

Extraterrestrial Life = Confirmed

This is the most important discovery that science has ever yielded.

We came from the stars baby!

In this post(link), I predicted that Humans will one day discover evidence of Extraterrestrial Life.

I have 3 words for you...




....Face On Mars!

In July 1976, Viking Orbiter 1 was acquiring images of the Cydonia region of Mars as part of the search for potential landing sites for Viking Lander 2. On July 25, 1976, it photographed a region of buttes and mesas along the escarpment that separates heavily cratered highlands to the south from low lying, relatively crater-free, lowland plains to the north.

Nasa tried to cover-up the significance of The Face and has denied its existence, but recent Hubble Space Telescope images show that the same face can be found at the center of several galaxies and nebulas.

Everything is about to change.

Not The Ark

High on Mt. Ararat in eastern Turkey, there is a baffling mountainside "anomaly".

Images taken by aircraft, intelligence-gathering satellites (Image at right) and commercial remote-sensing spacecraft are fueling an intensive study of the intriguing oddity. The anomaly of interest rests at 15,300 feet (4,663 meters) on the northwest corner of Mt. Ararat, and is nearly submerged in glacial ice.

Is the anomaly the remains of Noah's Ark (The boat, not the coffin that Indiana Jones found)? Some "scientists" think that it may be.

The Genesis blueprint of the Ark detailed the structure as 6:1 length to width ratio (300 cubits by 50 cubits). The anomaly, as viewed by satellite, is close to that 6:1 proportion. The anomaly dwarfs the Titanic and Bismarck in size, and equals the size of the largest modern aircraft carrier...

... Give me a break. The Ark anomaly is an example of Pareidolia.

Pareidolia is a type of illusion or misperception involving a vague stimulus being clearly perceived as something or someone. Some examples of pareidolia include seeing the image of Jesus Christ in a burnt tortilla or a tree wound; seeing the image of the Virgin Mary in a cloud or on a public toilet floor; and seeing the image of Mother Theresa in a cinnamon bun.

Under ordinary circumstances, pareidolia provides a psychological explanation for many delusions based upon sense perception. For example, it explains many UFO sightings and hearing sinister messages on records played backwards. Pareidolia explains Elvis, Bigfoot, and Loch Ness Monster sightings. It also explains numerous religious apparitions and visions.

The anomaly is an ordinary rock and ice formation, not the Ark.

Most Improved Player

Madeline recently finished playing her first season of basketball.

Madeline played for coach Pilcher's team in the St Joseph's church league for 5k, 1st, and 2nd graders.

Madeline had fun and won "Most Improved Player" on her team.

First Night In New House

Tonight is our first night in our new house. We moved-on-up from Hampton Trace to Hampton Crest. (Couldn't quite make it to King's Grant)

Last Night in Old House.

Tonight is our Last Night in 101 Chimney Hill Road.

My 70's Memories - Lego Spaceships

These are Lego baseplates from the 70's. Legos were my favorite toy as a kid. In my world, Lego baseplates served as the starting point for all Lego spaceships. I built some masterpieces.



The possibilities for Lego spaceships were limited only by the imagination (so long as the finished spaceship had engines, guns/rays, and bilateral symmetry).

The Nitpickers Site

I found an interesting website called The Nitpickers Site, where people submit mistakes that they noticed in movies

A nitpick is a mistake, or anomoly, in a movie. For Instance:

A microphone shows up on screen.
You can see the wires holding something/someone up.
Hole or conflict within the plot.
Scientific facts are misquoted or just plain wrong.
Historical and Technological inaccuracies.

Note: Nitpicks are not considered to be details which are necessary for the majority of the plot. IE: While real-life dragons do not exist, Draco the Dragon being alive in "Dragonheart" is NOT a nitpick.

Nitpickers covers movies and TV. War of The Worlds, a movie I hated(link),had 47 nitpicks.

Nitpickers Site(link).

Good Music - Old 97's

The Old 97's are one of my favorite bands. Old 97's are an Altertnative Country Rock band from Texas(think Uncle Tupelo or Jayhawks).

Old 97's have been around since 1993, but I discovered them on the internet in 1999.

My wife and kids love the Old 97's. The lead singer, Rhett Miller, is good looking, and the lyrics and music are catchy. I have yet to see Old 97's live, but I will some day soon. I have a few Old 97's soundboards, and the band sounds great live.

I bought the Old 97's CD Fight Songs, when it came out in 1999. The very Kinks-ish song Murder (Or a Heart Attack) from Fight Songs got some radio airplay.

I bought Satellite Rides, when it came out in 2001. Satellite Rides is probably my favorite Old 97's CD.

I bought Drag It Up, the latest Old 97's CD, when it came out in 2004. Won't be Home, The New Kid, and Bloomington are my favorite songs on Drag It Up.

I will now perform the Old 97's song Question, from Satellite Rides as featured on the TV show Scrubs when Turk proposed to Carla.

Space Update - New Red Spot for Jupiter

If you know anything about the Solar System, you are familiar with Jupiter's Great Red Spot, a storm twice as wide as our planet and at least 300 years old. The Great Red Spot is the most powerful storm in the whole solar system.

Well, Jupiter is growing a new red spot. The official name of the new storm is "Oval BA". It's about half the size of the famous Great Red Spot and almost exactly the same color.














Oval BA first appeared in the year 2000 when three smaller spots collided and merged.

Oval BA has been changing colors in recent months.

It was white in November 2005, slowly turned brown in December and then red a few weeks ago. Scientists are wondering if Oval BA has become permanently red.

Other Space Related news:

Scientists have discovered a huge crater in the Saharan desert, about 19 miles (31 kilometers) wide. The newfound crater was likely carved by a space rock that was itself roughly 0.75 miles wide in an event that would have been quite a shock, destroying everything for hundreds of miles. The crater is named “Kebira,” which means “large” in Arabic.

Scientists are debating whether or not there may be water on the moon, in permanently shadowed craters at the lunar poles, called "cold traps". If there is enough lunar water at the bottom of deep craters it might be converted to oxygen, drinkable water, even rocket fuel for future Lunar missions. If the US finds the water first we will, of course, appropriate it in violation of The Moon Treaty(link).

Senior Night Spoiled for Class-less Duke

Duke is ranked #1 in basketball (until Monday). Tonight, Duke was playing its biggest rival, UNC, who lost its 7 leading scorers from last year. It was Senior Night at Duke and JJ Redick was being honored. The Heels spoiled Senior Night and beat Duke 83 to 76.

Random Notes:

Redick is OO-ver RAA-ted. Redick went 5 of 21 and showed that he is not the best player in the country and that he chokes in big games.

Why does Dick Vitale continue to kiss JJ's butt? Tonight Vitale said that he has never seen a player suffer the verbal and physical abuse of Redick. What physical abuse is he talking about?

Maybe if Coach K talked to his players during time-outs instead of screaming at the refs, his team would have played better. Why does he never get a T?

Duke has no class whatsoever. At the end of the game when it was clear to all that Senior Night was ruined, Duke guard Dockery clearly pushed UNC center Hansbrough in the face and no technical was called.
No Class.

TiVo Update - American Idol

How good is Idol?

Melissa (boring) and Kinnik (sorry fellow Leaphart Leprechaun) are history after next week. Bucky (a Bo who can't sing) and Will (very Brady-ish) should be gone next week also.

My favorites are still Katharine (see photo), Paris and Chris.

Elliot can really sing. When Elliot started singing Stevie Wonder's "If You Really Love Me", I was thinking "No Way Dude", but he nailed it. Elliot doesn't look the Idol. The Shave helped, but if the producers could pull a few of his teeth and do something about his hair, Elliot could make it to the finals.

Best Cartoons Ever - I Want to Singa!

"I Love to Singa" is a 1936 Merrie Melodies cartoon directed by Tex Avery.

Owl parents are pleased with their classically trained children until one baby owl wants to sing jazz instead of his parents' preferred genres of classical music and opera. The young owl is kicked out of the house by his disciplinarian violinist father, and runs off to enter a radio amateur contest. The boy wins the contest, but only after his strict father sees his son's potential and allows him to freely sing jazz.

I will now perform an abbreviated "I Love to Singa".

What and Why?

What is this? and
Why did my daughter color it in school today?



Hint: I saw several people with dirt on their forhead today.

Simpsons beat 1st Amendment

A recent poll showed that Americans know more about The Simpsons TV show than the US Constitution's 1st Amendment.

There are 5 freedoms protected by the 1st amendment and 5 Simpson family members.

Only one in four Americans could name more than one of the 5 freedoms, but more than half could name at least two members of the cartoon family.

About 1 in 5 Americans thought the right to own a pet was one of the freedoms.

22% of Americans could name all 5 Simpson characters.

By comparison, just 1 in 1,000 people could name all five 1st Amendment freedoms.

In addition, more people could name the 3 American Idol TV show judges than 3 of the 5 freedoms.

So, can you name the 5 Simpson family members?
The 3 American Idol Judges?
The 5 First Amendment freedoms?

Of course, I know all the Simpsons (Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Maggie) and Idol Judges (Randy, Paula Simon).

I also know the Simpsons' dog's name (Satan's Little Helper) and their address (523 Evergreen Terrace) and the name of the original co-host on American Idol, along with Ryan Seacrest, who was fired after the first season (Brian Dunkleman).

I am an attorney with a Politcal Science degree. My father is a former South Carolina State Senator. I could only name 4 of the freedoms (religion, speech, press, and assembly).

The 5th freedom is petition for redress of grievances.

My 70's Memories - Jackson 5 Cartoon

Before he was the biggest litigation target in the world, Before Neverland Ranch, Before he invented the moonwalk, Before "Jesus Juice", Before The Victory Tour, Before "She's Out of My Life" and the rumor that he cried while singing it, Before he married Elvis's daughter, Before he was the Scarecrow in The Wiz, Before Jermaine and Rebbi had hits, Before the "Say, Say, Say" video where he was romantically involved with his sister Latoya, Before his hair caught fire filming a Pepsi commercial, Before little kids slept in his bedroom, Before he dangled his baby over a balconey,

Before all the things highlighted above, Michael Jackson was a young black boy and the lead singer in a band with his brothers, called The Jackson 5.

You may remember Michael for buying the Elephant Man's Remains, but I remember Michael as a Saturday Morning Cartoon Character, a young bell bottom wearing black boy with an afro who could sing and dance.

The Band I Hate is ...

I want you, the readers of Turnipblog, to answer the question.

Last week I asked for the "Worst Band Ever". The Worst Band Ever must be a band that someone actually likes. The band must be successful, have sold many cd's, maybe even have a Greatest Hits. Bruce Hornsby, for instance, would not even get consideration.

I voted for Bob Seger and to the extent they can be considered a seperate band, The Silver Bullet Band.

I only got one response, Jackson Brown.

I am going to make this easy and fun (potential new Turnipblog slogan):

What band do you hate? There is no wrong answer. Is there one band that other people like that you can't stand?

TURNIPBLOG SURVEY - What Band do you hate?*

***please leave a comment, responding to the TURNIPBLOG SURVEY***

JJ Defeats Satan

JJ Redick is a true hero. Redick just set the ACC all time leading scorer record. JJ doesn't get into any trouble, and is a good looking kid with the NCAA 3 pointers made and career free throw shooting percentage records.

Why is JJ hated? It is a little known fact that JJ had a chance to not be hated. Apparently, early in his career, Satan himself offered JJ the love and admiration of all BB fans, in exchange for JJ's soul.

JJ tells the story through his poetry, of how he resisted temptation, shocked Beelzebub, and actually defeated the Dark Lord.

"As I decide to fulfill my life's strategy
The devil insists on trying to battle me
I meet him in an empty field on the high plains
He throws temptations my way to inflict internal pain
Life and death matters, this ain't no game
It's mind over matter, the power of my brain
He thinks I'll give in if my muscles start to strain
He believes I'll submit to the evil of society's frame
And benefit from notoriety's gain
He says I don't have to properly train
and that he'll give me all the fame
and everyone will know my name
But I think he's insane
'Cause I know the truth- to gain is to give
To have pain is to live
So I call on my heavenly Father's name
And slowly watch the thunder and rain subside
I'm finally able to push the temptations aside
I went blow for blow, I went face to face
Now the devil knows, I'm able to escape
Not by a back door or an alternate route
I saw the middle high ground and I ran right through"

Kid Tip - Training Diapers

Potty training is tough. When do you switch from diapers to big kid underwear?

Diapers eliminate "accidents", but your child will not become potty trained as long as they are wearing diapers. Ever hear of adult diapers like Depends? 80% of Depends users were toddlers who just never got out of diapers.

Big kid underwear teaches potty training because the child learns that they get wet (or worse) if they don't go use the potty when they feel the urge. The draw-back of big kid underwear is that that while wearing big kid underwear and training, there are going to be messy accidents.

Now, there is a new product to ease the transition - Training Diapers provide the best of both worlds. Old fashioned diapers kept floors, and baby, dry and clean. Not anymore.

Now, with Training Diapers, you can keep your linens and furniture safe, while allowing your child to urinate (or worse) on his/her self.

Good Music - The Donnas

The Donnas are an all girl band from California and have been playing together since they were teenagers. The Donnas are not like many other girl bands, they play all their own instruments and they Rock. The Donnas sound like Kiss with a girl singer.

Good Donnas albums are Spend The Night and Gold Medal.

Here is a link to The Donnas Website(link), which plays samples of Donnas songs.

Best Cartoons: Rabbit of Seville

I am starting a new Turnipblog feature on the greatest animated cartoons of all time.

The 1950 classic
Rabbit of Seville
features Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd.

This cartoon has a great mixture of music and humor with Bugs in drag, Bugs massaging Elmur's scalp with his feet and making a salad on his head in perfect time with the music, the back and forth chase with bigger and bigger weapons, and a wedding.

I will perform the begining of the cartoon.

Kid Tip - RLS

Does your kid Fidgit? When your kids climb into your bed, do they constantly move their legs around under the covers, rubbing their toes on your back or kicking you?

Well our kids were big fidgiters, but now, because of an advertisement that we saw on television, instead of threatening to put them back in their own bed if they can't be still, we understand that they can't help it.

How should you expect your children, or adults for that matter, to keep their legs still without the aid of strong medications, when we know about Restless Leg Syndrome(link)?

If your kid fidgits, call your doctor.

Saturn and the Cassini Spacecraft

The planet Saturn is called "The Jewel of the Solar System"

Saturn has the most extensive and complex ring system in our solar system, extending hundreds of thousands of miles from the planet. Made up of billions of particles of ice and rock - ranging in size from grains of sugar to houses - the rings orbit Saturn at varying speeds.

There are hundreds of individual rings, believed to be made of pieces of shattered moons, comets and asteroids. Each of the billions of rings particles orbits the planet on its own path.

Saturn is a gas giant, like Jupiter, Uranus and Neptune. Saturn is made mostly of hydrogen and helium.

Four NASA spacecraft have been sent to explore Saturn. Pioneer 11 was first to fly past Saturn in 1979. Voyager 1 flew past a year later, followed by its twin, Voyager 2, in 1981.

Right now, the Cassini space craft is in orbit around Saturn. The Cassini spacecraft is the first to explore the Saturn system of rings and moons from orbit. Cassini entered orbit on Jun. 30, 2004 and immediately began sending back intriguing images and data. Currently, Cassini scientists are tracking the strongest lighting storm ever detected at Saturn. The storm is larger than the continental United States, with lightning 1,000 times stronger than Earth's lightning.

Saturn has 34 known moons. Saturn's moon Titan is bigger than the planets Mercury and Pluto and is one of the few moons in our solar system with its own atmosphere. Scientists are attracted to Titan because its atmosphere is similar to that on early Earth, before life began. Cassini released the European Space Agency's Huygens Probe in January 2005. The Huygens Probe dove into Titan's thick atmosphere to look at Titan's surface.

The Huygens Probe didn't find any water, but look at all the cool pictures (above) that Cassini has been taking.

Here is a link to NASA's Cassini web site(link)

Showdown at the Bunkbeds

American Idol - Leaphart Leprechaun?

What do you think of the 24 American Idol finalists?

First off, Ace is totally hot. Ayla is also "pretty" (as much as I can say, she's only 17).

My favorites to win are Katharine, Paris and Chris.

Although she isn't one of my favorites, I have to give a big shout out to Kinnik Sky, representing the 29210.

That's right, Sky (age 28, pictured above) was know as Shon-Tai Kinnik Hingleton when she attended Leaphart Elementary School, in Columbia, SC. I wish you luck Kinnick, for I too am a Leaphart Leprechaun (1979).

Non-Sports

Did you know that the Winter Olympics are going on right now in Italy? Probably not, because the winter olympics are unwatchable and are not real sports. Likewise, NASCAR is not a sport.

People watch real sports to see the participants do well and excel. For instance; football is exciting when 2 good teams score a lot of touchdowns, basketball is exciting when there are dunks and 3 pointers, baseball when there are home runs.

The Winter Olympics and NASCAR are not sports because people watch them to see the participants perform poorly and fail. Think about it, when was the last time you heard someone say:

"Bo, hand me another Coors Light, and did you see that NASCAR race? The cars went around the track really fast."; or

"Did you see the luge last night? Those Norwegians were really lying on top of each other."

Never - People watch the Winter Olympics and NASCAR to see the participants perform poorly, fail, crash, wreck, and if you are really lucky, sustain life threatening injuries.

If the "highlights" only show people or vehicles flipping over, out of control, as opposed to showing winning, or a good play - Not a sport.

Winter Olympics and NASCAR are no more sports than America's Funniest Home Videos.

Old West Tales - Seed Snaps

For an introduction to Old West Tales, click here: Old West Tales - Introduction

If you don't know who Rich King is, you need to read these posts: Enter TPYG; TPYG Questions Answered; ku-ba-say

Rich had trouble waking up in the morning.

Rich had alarm clocks all over the room and they would go off in succession every morning. Most of the alarms beeped, others buzzed or clanged.

When an alarm would go off, Rich would turn it off (or hit snooze and then turn it off 9 minutes later) and then get back into bed.

Then the next alarm would go off a few minutes later, and he would do the same thing.

The sequence of the alarms was always changing, so Rich must have reset the alarms every night.

The worst alarm of all was The Buzzer. The Buzzer would start humming ever so quietly about a minute or two before it actually went off. The humming would get louder and louder and finally cresindo into a full blown, very loud, buzz when the alarm actually went off.

One morning we were all three asleep in the room, which was rare because Vic often stayed at his girlfriend's room. Rich's alarms started going off as usual. I can sleep through alarms, but I do wake up for a moment when they first go off.

Rich went through his morning ritual - snoozing and turning off alarms, it went on for quite some time.

After a while, it started getting ridiculous, but I would never let Rich make me lose my cool. It was amusing.

I tried, but I could not go back to sleep because I was counting how many alarms were going to go off before Rich finally got up and stayed up...

Eventually, The Buzzer started humming. As the humming grew louder and louder, I got madder and madder, to the point that when The Buzzer finally started buzzing, I lept out of my bed and stood above Rich.

Rich was lying there like a japanese vampire, grinning, with his hands folded over the top of the comforter, which was pulled up to his chin.

I started pulling on the comforter. By this time, Vic was watching and laughing from the top bunk above Rich.

Rich clenched both the comforter, and his eyes closed, as hard as he could.

Finally, I yanked the comforter, and Rich along with it, completely out of the bed, and onto cold hard dorm-room foor.

Looking back, I think Rich saw it as some odd sort of victory.