The men showed up one by one, with food and beer. I had a tray of those ham biscuit things; "FD" showed up with wings; "MB" brought chips and salsa; "KT" brought chicken salad; and "CZN" showed up late with a crock pot full of meatballs.
"KT" also brought a box full of liquor, including a half gallon of vodka, half gallon of bourbon, and half gallon of Captain Morgan.
We played Texas Hold'em and it was fun. About half way through the evening we decided to start taking shots. It seemed as though "FD" and "CZN" were taking the most shots. They also seemed to be getting the drunkest. At one point "CZN" covered a paper plate with meatballs and ate them all. That is all I remember him eating.
By the end of the night (only midnight), "FD" was passed out on my couch and I found CZN wandering around in my dark garage.
Now, to the point of my story. The next morning Madeline wanted to ride her bike in the cul-de-sac. Her mother told her that she couldn't and I didn't understand why until she came out and whispered that I needed to clean CZN's vomit off of the street before madeline would be allowed to ride her bike.I went and got the hose and screwed the spray nozzle on and stretched it out as far as it would go, about 5 feet from the perfectly round, 3/4 of an inch high, vomit pile that was located right beside where CZN's SUV had been parked the night before.
The mound started breaking up as soon as I started spraying it towards the gutter. The smell was intense and suffocating. Apparently CZN had eaten something other than meatballs, as there were chunks of chicken, so large, that he must have somehow pulled all of the meat off of each wing he ate, in one piece, and swallowed it, without even chewing.
You would think that I was pissed-off as I kicked bits of meat out of the neighbors grass and back into the gutter with the toe of my shoe, but I wasn't. I smiled the entire time, thinking of the great Turnipblog post that was shaping up...
5 comments:
ROFL :-)
Wow Seed, that was a funny post! My five year old would call it "hilar-ious".
If one thing is apparent from your posting, it sounds like the evening - or at least the presence of liquor at poker night - should never, never be repeated, or at least not in the near future (although if I understand your post correctly, it sounds like it was "KT"'s fault for bringing the liquor in the first place).
Regardless of the cause (or effect), it also sounds like Madeline's mother was an unintended casualty of poker night. The heart-felt sympathy of all of your readers goes out to her for enduring such a group of louts (and their gastric indiscretions). I am certain that they "felt it" the next morning, and afternoon, and night, and the morning after that.
The aftermath of the inaugural poker night does inevitably make you wonder whether bunco nights end up like this from time to time (or at all). If so, why did they ever have a second bunco night? If not, why did they ever have a second bunco night?
Regardless, I have to believe that several of the girls laugh at "MS"'s antics after each meeting too, but that is a posting for another time.
Anonymous (and really not CZN)
Yes, poker night with liquor can get quite interesting. At least nobody brought more ridiculous stuff, like cigars.
Sure, it was "KT"'s fault for bringing the liquor...and also those sneaky shot glasses, for getting refilled so often and also .....
Anonymous (and really not KT either)
The bunco wives, including the host's wife, didn't feel offended at all by their husbands' behavior. It just gave us something to talk and laugh about the next day. We will just taunt each of you without mercy and we didn't feel much sympathy for you the day after. (I know at least two fo you were doing yard work the day after.)
Actually, KT also brought cigars. Several times there were discussions of moving to the back parch to increase the volume and smoke cigars.
Luckily the lighting on the back porch wasn't good enough for poker.
PS. KT lives 4 houses down and walked to Poker Night.
Post a Comment