Old West Tales - TPYG Questions Answered

For an introduction to Old West Tales, click here: Old West Tales - Introduction

We want to hear more about Rich, TPYG.

First of all, for a background on Rich, read this post (link).

You describe Rich as The Pale Young Gentleman, tall and thin and frail looking with wispy white hair and lilly white skin, but I still can't muster a visual image.

Let me help you. Picture Def Leppard Guitarist Steve (photos at right). Now, imagine that instead of dying in 1991 from a mixture of alchohol and pain killers, Steve quit the band, cut his hair, and developed a creepy fascination with Japanese culture. That is what Rich looked like.

Ok, I will now answer 3 questions about Rich.

Question #1. = Rich really never drank?

A = Rich did drink on one, and only one, occasion.

Question #2. = Did Rich ever make a sound other than through the use of his own vocal cords?

A = Yes, Rich did make a sound on one, and only one, occasion. It just so happened to be the one, and only one, occasion that he consumed alcohol.

At some point during the semester, Rich started taking an interest in student politics (yawn). Rich told us that he was backing a guy named Trey for student body president. Rich talked about Trey all the time and had Trey campaign stuff. Basically, Rich wanted to be Trey.

Well the big election night came and Trey didn't do so well.

Rich was devastated and started drinking a 4 pack of wine coolers (I swear this is true) out of a coffee mug. Soon Rich was slurring his speech,

"Alsssss I"m SSSSSaying..."

Rich's anger over the election swelled up inside him over the course of the evening and erupted as he slammed the empty coffee mug down on our bar, and for the first time since I had known him, Rich's physical interaction with matter produced an audible sound.

Question #3. = Did Rich ever do anything remotely cool?

A = Yes, on one, and only one, occasion, Rich said something funny.

I was sitting on my bed scraping a pipe when Rich started speaking. (As usual, I had forgotten that Rich was even in the room).

"Your parents must be proud."

I'll bite. "What do you mean Rich?"

"If your parents knew how much heavy metal music you had to listen to and how much you had to party to be cool, they would have to be proud."

This was actually pretty funny, but I couldn't let Rich know that. Without batting an eye or looking up,

"Yeah Rich, I guess you are right."