King Acknowledged Me.

When poeple hear that you went to UNC, they often want to know what basketball players were at UNC when you were there. Jeff Lebo, J.R. Reid, Rick Fox, Eric Montross, George Lynch, and Hubert Davis all played while I was at UNC.

However, there was one player who was at UNC the exact years that I was there, 1987 - 1991.

Point guard King Rice.

King couldn't hit the 3 ball, but he was a good point guard and defender and totally dominated Bobby Girly every time the Heels played Duke.

Sophmore and Junior years, King lived in Foxcroft apartments, near some friends of mine. I actually met King about 3 or 4 times. King would show up when my buddies threw parties. John McCabe had an iguana and King was scared of it and Johnny would get drunk and chase King around with the iguana. Good Times!

Haven't seen or heard of King since 1991.

Tonight, we went to the South Carolina v Vanderbilt game. As Vanderbilt were walking into the locker room at half time, I saw that King Rice was one of their assistant coaches. As they walked by, I started yelling King, like I knew him. King looked up and acknowledged me with a nod. It was enough for Cyndy to ask if he really knew who I was.

Kevin Moran of Irmo witnessed the entire encounter.

Something Terrible Probably Won't Happen

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Turnipblog Dictionary - Wardrobe Wow!-Function

We have all heard of the new pop culture word "wardrobe malfunction".

I propose that there should be two different pop culture terms for when a celebrity's clothing gives way, depending on who the celebrity is and what body parts are exposed.

When Janet Jackson's breast pops out of her top during halftime of the superbowl = "Wardrobe Malfunction"

When Mrs. Universe Jennifer Hawkins has a mishap in an Australian mall = "Wardrobe Wow!-Function"

Duke is Loaded

Many people say that it is a "down year" for Duke Basketball.

Duke's record is not very good, but Duke's future is definitely bright because they are loaded with young hateable players capable of DWEFs.

Duke White-Guy Effort Faces

3 players immediately come to mind.

1. Paul-Puss. He is a wuss and white, but not good enough to really hate, yet.

2. John Scheyer: Only a freshman, don't really hate him yet, but he leads the country in DWEFs.

3. Josh McRoberts: Turnipblog usually focuses on Scheyer, but McRoberts is the true A-hole of the Duke team and definitely the most hateable.

Also, because he is overshadowed by Scheyer, many people don't realize that McRoberts can DWEF with the best of them.

Disney World Guide - Animal Kingdom

When you go to Disney World, use Animal Kingdom as a short-day where there are no naps and you eat dinner at a resteraunt or your hotel/condo and go to bed early.


Get to Animal Kingdom when it opens at 9:00. Go straight to the safari ride as it gets crowded and the animals are actually out and moving around early in the day when it isn't so hot.

You can easily see everything in a day and there are alot of character greeting opportunities.

Don't Miss:

Safari Ride,

Rapids Water Ride,

It's Tough to be a Bug 3D Show,

Everest Coaster.

You absolutely must Festival of the Lion King show or your trip is a failure.

Catch the afternoon parade at 3 or 4, then go home and call it a day. The park closes at 5:00.

The Greatest Gift of All ...

There is a pretty big intersection, where Rosewood meets Garner's Ferry, that we have to drive through to get to downtown Columbia where we work.

Sometimes there are people taking up money for charities at the intersection, usually it is firefighters who ask motorists to throw change in a boot.

This morning there was a group of men wearing suits and taking up money for some church ministry. I had just purchased my morning energy drink at the Circle K (buy one Joker Energy, get one free) and I called one of the guys over, unrolled my window, and dropped my change into the cannister that he held.

He looked in my car,

"Can I have that energy drink?" he asked. I had one Joker opened and one un-opened in the center console.

I thought he was kidding and just looked at him.

"Come on, you got one for yourself, can I have that one?", he asked again.

"No.", I answered. If I gave up the second Joker, how would I survive late-afternoon malaise?

The man reached in my window and shook my hand, "My name is Pastor so-and-so from New Orleans, and I really need that energy."

He was serious and he probably was actually doing the work of the lord, so I gave him the unopened Joker and he asked God to bless me.

Sing it: "Dwef Fever, Dwef Fee-va..."

Please Click on the Fat John Scheyer.

Madeline in Magic Kingdom

Katharine McPhee Update

My favorite American Idol Contestant from last year was Katharine.

Here is a Katharine McPhee update, brought to you by Turnipblog special correspondent Tyra Banks.

Please click on the photo to enlarge and read what I had always suspected, but Tyra was able to confirm.

Simon Cowell Least of Bush Babies' Concern.

Earlier this season on American Idol, Simon compared a contestent to a Bush Baby.

This week, scientists announced a discovery that puts Cowell's disparagement of Bush Babies in an all new light...

Chimpanzees are capable of making spears to hunt other primates and have been seen using the weapons to apparently kill bushbabies for meat.

Researchers based their findings on observations of omnivorous chimps that dwell in savannahs similar to those from which humanity's ancestors are thought to have emerged.

"It is not adult males, but young chimpanzees, including adolescent females, who are exhibiting this behavior," Jill Pruetz, a primatologist at Iowa State University.

The scientists investigated the Fongoli community of savannah-dwelling chimpanzees (Pan troglodytes verus) in southeastern Senegal. The researchers saw 10 chimps fashioning spearlike tools to forcibly jab at nocturnal primates known as lesser bushbabies (Galago senegalensis), which sleep inside hollow branches or tree trunks during the day. After their attacks, the chimps sniffed or licked their weapons, as if to see whether they shed blood.

The chimps routinely broke off branches, trimmed them of twigs, leaves and bark and sharpened the tips of their spears with their teeth.

There was just one successful attempt in 22 recorded instances of the chimpanzee hunts with their spears. "Still, this involves significantly less energy than in chasing down monkeys, so it is not surprising that it evolved," Pruetz said.

Famous Short Guys - Kenny Baker

Welcome to Famous Short Guys, where I celebrate the same.

Do you recognize this photo of Kenneth Baker, a British actor, who is 3 feet 8 inches tall?

Kenneth Bakereis best known for playing one of the most beloved movie characters of all time.

Still can't place the face?

Maybe this photo will help.



Baker was a circus and cabaret performer when George Lucas hired him to be the man inside R2-D2 in Star Wars in 1977. Baker appears in five of the six Star Wars films; though credited on Episode III, he never filmed any scenes. George Lucas decided to credit him in the film out of loyalty.

Kenny Baker Trivia

Baker played an additional role in 1983's Return of the Jedi as Paploo, the Ewok who steals an Imperial speeder bike.

Baker's other films include The Elephant Man, Time Bandits (Great Movie), Amadeus and Jim Henson's Labyrinth.

Giant Panda Sneezes

Disney World Guide - Epcot

Epcot has 2 parts, the part with the Big Shiny Ball and World Showcase.

Most of the rides and stuff are in the part of Epcot with the ball.

The must sees here are a new Nemo ride(overrated) the new Soaring ride (get a fastpass as soon as you eneter the park), Honey I Shrunk the Audience (a 3-D show), Mission to Mars, and Test Track.

The Shiny ball part of Epcot has very few Character greeting opportunities and few kiddie rides. There are quite a few interactive and learning type things for older kids and no afternoon parade.

Where Epcot really delivers is the World Showcase where there are pavillions for Canada, China, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Mexico, Morocco, Norway, U.S.A., and United Kingdom. Each pavillion has resteraunts, shops, and employees, from that country. Some countries have rides or movies.

China has a great acrobat show.

Everyone has heard the saying "EPCOT is actually an acronym for Every Parent Comes Out Tipsy." This is true because you can get beer and liquor at world showcase.

If you stay multiple days at Disney World, you should end at least one day at Epcot. Eat at the Country of your choice (Germany totally Rocks), have a few drinks, and catch the night show at the World Showcase Lagoon, Illuminations.

Warning: Epcot is huge. We ended up having to get a double stroller when we returned to Epcot one afternoon for World Showcase. the stroller was big enough for Cyndy, Madeline, and sam to sit in to watch Illuminations.

DWEF Abuse

Disney World Guide - MGM

If you got young boys, MGM has got some great stuff. Here is my 3 step plan to enjoy MGM

1. Enter the park as soon as the gates open at 9:00 and proceed to the ABC studios building. Pretty soon Lighting McQueen and Mater come driving out for photos. If you are at the front of the line you will get a photo at just about the time the Power Rangers appear. There were 5 of them and they all signed autographs and posed for photos. The Power Rangers had a car parked near by with giant speakers that blasted japa-instrumental-rock.

2. Do everything else in the park that looks good in no particular order.

Make sure you catch the afternoon parade at 3:00.

Get a fast-pass for Voyage of The Little Mermaid. Go to Playhouse Disney, the Great Movie Ride, Star Wars ride, Aerosmith Rocking Coaster, and Muppets 3-D.

Don`t miss the Car stunt show and the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular. Warning - there is staged fighting and small children might not understand "stunts". As we were walking out of this show, Sam sucker-punched me right in the face.

Animation Studio is good and at the end you get to meet The Incredibles and have a computer tell you what disney character you are most like.

3. Get into the Fantasmic stadium at least an hour before the show. Either bring dinner in with you that you bought outside (totally acceptable), or let Mom and kids get good seats while dad goes back out for dinner.

*****BEER IS SERVED INSIDE THE FANTASMIC STADIUM*****

There was one signature photo-op at MGM that parents were generraly more excited about than the kids...

Darth Vader! When we saw Vader, I had to be in the photo also.

When I got up there with Darth and the 2 Stormtroopers, I was taller than they were. You can see in the photo that I am bending my knees.

Right before Cyndy snapped the photo I said "Aren't you a Little Short For A Storm Trooper?" and the Stormtrooper who was on my left, behind me, wheeled around and got right in my face.

It's All about the Characters, Baby!

At Disneyworld, characters are like Rockstars.

Whenever characters appear in one of the parks, a line of families waiting for autographs and photos immediately forms. There is always a character handler who cuts off the line at a certain time and then whisks the characters away.

Character Supplies

You need an autograph book, pen and camera. If you don't already have them, you can purchase an autograph book and pen as soon as you enter a Disney Park. If you forget your camera, buy a disposible.

Some characters, like Buzz Lightyear and Mr. Incredible, have giant hands and can not sign autographs. Don't worry, they keep a stamp close by.

Where are the Characters?

In addition to random character appearences throughout the parks, Magic Kingdom has an area where you can always meet a few characters, including Mickey.

Epcot is the lamest park for Characters. Magic Kingdom has the most characters, but there are also quite a few at Animal Kingdom and MGM.

Character Meals

Many families book at least one "Character Meal" while at Disney World for even more characters. You get a good meal and then many characters come by your table.

The most popular character meal is Princess breakfast or dinner in Cinderella Castle. This books months in advance, so we did Princess dinner at the resteraunt in Norway in Epcot.

Norway had good entrees, and an all you can eat bar of cold salads, meats, cheeses and fish.

Character meals are expensive. For 4 of us it was well over $100. I had two draft beers at $6,75 a pop.

As we were leaving the table I still had a half a beer. I stood up and finished the beer, and as I did, I was drinking beer as expensively as you pump gas.

I imagined I could see the money being spent like at a gas pump, as the level of beer went down in the glass.

Disney Guide - Best New Stuff

We just got back from Disney World.

Last time we went was 4 1/2 years ago.

I am going to catch you up on all the newest stuff.

Magic Kingdom

1. Mickey's Philharmagic - This is a new 3-D movie and it is the best 3-D movie I have ever seen and easily the best at Disneyworld, beating "It's Hard To Be A Bug" at Animal Kingdom, "Muppet 3-D" at MGM, and "Honey I Shrunk the Audience" at Epcot.

EPCOT

1. Soarin - An awesome flight simulation ride. Soarin was the most crowded ride at all of DisneyWorld. The line was a 75 minute wait by noon. You must go directly to the Land pavilion and get a fastpass for Soarin as soon as you enter the park.

2. Mission to Mars - This space-flight simulation made so many people sick when it first opened that now they have an "intense" version and a "wuss" version. I rode the "intense" and it was fun, but you do feel a little queesy afterward.

Animal Kingdom

1. Expedition Everest - Great coaster with a Yeti. Don't want to give too much away.

MGM

1. Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show - This is big time fun. Huge stadium so don't get there more than 30 minutes before the show starts.

Dukie V

A song about Dick Vitale's Love of all things Duke.

Evil Disney Photos

Going to Disney

We are going to Disney World tomorrow and won't be back till next Sunday.

Cyndy got a laptop from her work and I may be able to post from Kissammee, but I am much more worried about my Fantasy NBA teams than this blog.

When I come back I will post a Disney World Vacation Guide.

Searches That Led to Turnipblog

I always think that it is interesting to look at what internet searches led people to this blog.

The good news is that in the past 2 weeks, John Scheyer and his Dwef's are overtaking Britney's crotch shots as most common search that leads to Turnipblog.

As usual, I will list the search engine and then the actual internet search that led someone to Turnipblog will be in bold and my comments will follow.

div>1. Google - "jon scheyer"+homosexual (I didn't say it, someone searched it.)

2. Google - "Katharine McPhee feet" pictures (I don't focus there.)

3. Google - "the death of a dictionary"+bootleg listen (self-produced first gayly named album from band "Live".)

4. Google - budfest myrtle beach (I went there a few easter weekends while at Chapel Hill)

5. Ask.com - surfer posted pussy (I have no idea?)

6. Google - opras energy bar recipes (Maybe just a half a bar for normal sized people.)

7. Google - Barrister David Chiji (... is gonna make me rich.)

8. Yahoo - www.com.popmommy (My grandmother had a web site?)

9. Google - lyrics "come on Judah" (I totally stayed at the home of the guy on 30-Rock.)

10. Google - campus shooting murder Houston USC "University of South Carolina" -Texas -camera (Again, I'm clueless?)

11. Google - books about "santa gets sick" (Haven't read any of them, but they sound festive.)

12. Google - "jon scheyer" and chicken

(Now that I can do!(link))

Crazy Dog

Napoleon Duke-amite

Song - Old Yeller

I had the idea of writing call-and-response songs that display my knowledge of trivia.

I sing these songs by myself, on a stage, in front of a crowd, with a microphone.

Where-ever I leave a blank space in the lyrics, the crowd sings the answer to a trivia question.

Let's try it.

Famous Golden Retriever, Old _____.

Another word for "star-like". _______.

157 1/2 E. Franklin St, Ramshead _______.

I refuse to Honk for the Bank ______.

"H - E - R" is how you _____ ___ .

The things Suess likes in his cellar. The ______, and the______, and the______, and the ______, and the ______, and the _______, and the ______.

Then some girls would come out on stage or get pulled out of the audience to dance on stage while the band jammmed.

... and then I come back out and bust out with some freestyle...


First Billionaire. ____ _ ___________.


He never talks, "Penn and ______."


She couldn't hear or see. ______ ______.


Prarie Home Companion Guy ________ ______.


Paleontologist on Friends. ____ ______ .


Spoon-bending psychic. ___ ______.

Buffy! _____ ________ ______.



Robocop! ____ ______.



"Where's The Beef?" _____ ______.

Superbowl Recap

We had some people over last night to watch the Superbowl.

Some of the commercials were pretty funny, although the ad makers mistakenly think that talking animals is funny no matter what. Not True!

The Colts won the game and the weather was horrible. It was pouring rain and the performance on the field was pretty sloppy, except for one man who stood tall and towered above everyone else.

This man, however, was not wearing a helmet, he was wearing a kerchief.



This time Prince didn't sit on a Harley to make himself look taller, instead he projected his shadow onto a thirty foot screen.



Someone watching the game with us commented how brave Prince was to be playing a guitar in the rain.

Yeah right, there is absolutely no chance that Prince would get struck by lightning because he was the shortest person in the stadium.

80's Singers Named Kevin Song

I had the idea of writing songs that display my knowledge of trivia.

I sing these songs by myself, on a stage, in front of a crowd, with a microphone.

Where-ever I leave a blank space in the lyrics, the crowd sings the answer to a trivia question.

Let's try it.

Mickey Mouse's Girlfriend - ______.

Driving and Crying, Kevin - ______.

Germany always first invades - ______.

Dexy's Midnight Runners, Kevin _______.

Robert De Niro played a modern-day Samurai in - _____.

REO Speedwagon, Kevin - ______.

Velvet Jones wrote "I Wanna Be a - __.

Quiet Riot, Kevin - ______.

Worst Bellination Ever

This post needs a lot of setup.

If my daughter finishes her dinner and is still hungry, she often asks for cheese. That's right, a pile of shredded chedder cheese, right on her plate.

We have a 100 pound dog that eats leftovers. We take whatever food is left-over on our plates from dinner and mix it with the dog food.

Last night in the dog's bowl, we started with a generous serving of creamy mashed potatoes, layered with sweet corn and loaded with bite-sized pieces of crispy chicken. Then we drizzle it all with home-style gravy and topped it off with a shredded three-cheese blend.

It was all his favorite flavors coming together.

If you don't know what a "bellination" is, read this post(link).

If you don't know why Kentucky Fried Chicken changed its name to KFC, read this post (link).

I can hold my tounge no longer.

KFC has hit the bottom of the barrel with the worst bellination in history.

KFC serves humans what my dog ate last night for dinner and calls if KFC bowls.

I kid you not. The following comes straight from KFC's website for KFC Mashed Potato Bowls:


We start with a generous serving of our creamy mashed potatoes, layered with sweet corn and loaded with bite-sized pieces of crispy chicken. Then we drizzle it all with our signature home-style gravy and top it off with a shredded three-cheese blend. It's all your favorite flavors coming together.

Hey, Coach K,

What do you think about Duke's "classy" image as perpetuated by Dick Vitale and everyone at ESPN?

Rubberboy

Last night we went to the Colonial Center to watch the Gamecocks play Auburn in Basketball.

I came away from the game severely traumatized, and not because the Gamecocks lost a heartbreaker or because I was blinded by the glare from Auburn coach Jeff Lebo's head.

I was traumatized by the halftime show.

At halftime, 2 dudes walked out to the center of the court carrying a very small box.

They set the box down and walked away.

The lid opened by itself, and a dude unfolded himself out of the box.

That dude calls himself Rubberboy.

I would go into more detail, but it still hurts to think about his performance.

Just go check out Rubberboy's website (link).