Monday, December 31, 2007

Can't Tase This

Let me set the stage for this video.

On September 17, 2007, Senator John Kerry addressed a Constitution Day forum at the University of Florida in Gainesville.

Toward the end of the question and answer period, University police forcibly removed Andrew Meyer, a 21-year-old student,from the forum, restraining him through direct force and stunning him with a Taser.

Several videos of the episode were then posted on the Internet and these became viral videos because Meyer says "Don't tase me, bro!" and it is hilarious.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

A Bean Water Tip

Beans are cheap.

Poor people eat beans to survive.

Some beans taste terrible.

Long ago, people figured out that you could grind up these nasty beans and run hot water over them to make a drink.

This drink is cheap to make - The ingredients are nasty beans and hot water.

This bean drink is called coffee.

A company called Starbucks has made a lot of money selling this cheap bean drink.

Is Starbucks making a profit?

Starbucks own website says that last year they "paid an average price of $1.42 per pound of green (unroasted) coffee".

If you grind up a pound of coffee beans that you paid $1.42 for, and run some hot water over them, how many cups of coffee could you make?

It really doesn't matter, because Starbucks charges way more than $1.42 for just one cup of coffee.

How much money does Starbucks make?

Starbucks has stores in all 50 states and 42 other countries around the world.

Starbucks figured out that if you put coffee in the refrigerator and then add a few spoonfulls of Nestle's Quick, that you can call it a "Mocha Frappacino Light Grande", and sell it to my wife for almost 5$.

Add wireless internet, and posers flock to Starbucks to waste their money on coffee and to be seen.

If that wasn't enough, Starbucks also sells over-priced pastries and CD's.

I gave my wife a Starbucks Card in her stocking.

According to Starbucks' website - "Starbucks Card, a reloadable stored-value card, surpassed the $2.5 billion mark for total activations and reloads since its introduction in 2001."

The other day, we were out shopping and stopped into a Starbucks drive-through for a Mocha Frappacino Light Grande.

There was a "Tip Jar" at the drive-through.

I totally lost it. I grabbed a pen and some paper, scribbled a note, and stuffed it into the tip-jar.

It read...

You have got to be f___ing kidding me.

I find it preposterous that you are asking me to supplement the income of your employees.

Do you think I am fooled into thinking that your employees are somehow like bartenders just because you call them "Baristas"?

Your "Baristas" are no different than the pimple faced teenager working at the McDonalds drive-through next door.

What is the most difficult task at Starbucks, making a Mocha Frappacino?

Maybe McDonalds should put a tip jar at their drive-through, because your fancy Mocha Frappacino machine looks a hell of a lot like the milk-shake machine at McDonalds.

Assembling a Big Mac or slaving over a fry vat has got to be more difficult than throwing a scone into a bag.

Here is a tip - Pay your employees out of your astronomical profits.


At least McDonalds sells delicious burgers and fries as opposed to bean-water and Kenny-G CD's

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Glam Jam

You probably know that I consider the 70's the best music decade.

I love Glam Rock, which is about as 70's as it gets.

Check out Glam Jam, a glam music mix in the last fm player in the Turnipblog sidebar.

If you don't know what Glam is, watch this video featuring the holy trinity of Glam - Alice Cooper, Sweet, and T-Rex.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Fabregas is Sylar

The Arsenal Midfielder and the Evil Psycho from Heros are one in the same.

Friday, December 21, 2007

College Basketball is Back - Duke # 1

College basketball is back.

I am a North Carolina, and a South Carolina, basketball fan.

I went to North Carolina undergrad. The Heels are undefeated and are at the top of all College Basketball polls.

We have Gamecock season tickets and finally moved into the lower deck at the Colonial Center. The Gamecocks have a young team and will lose many close games this season.

Although the Heels are the best team in the country, their arch-rivals once again are leading the country in one important statistical category...

Duke is still #1 at WEF's

White-Guy Effort Faces

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Will Ferrell + Jack Black = Funny

I love this scene with Will Ferrell and Jack Black, from Anchorman.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Attorney's Meeting Doodles

At work, we have an Attorney's Meeting every couple of weeks. Case notes are passed out at the beginning of the meeting.

After the last Attorney's Meeting, I looked at my notes and noticed that I had actually doodled on them quite a bit.

I decided to scan and post the doodles. Keep in mind, that I was just doodling out of sheer boredom and never intended for other eyes to see these doodles.



(Click on the doodles to enlarge)

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Me Playing Binocular Soccer

I love playing soccer. If I ever get the chance to play on Saturday evening, the only pick-up game that I know of is the Asian game.

We always play with binoculars strapped to our faces.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Survivor China Disappointment

I was hugely disappointed with Survivor China.

After the season finale I was left with an empty feeling.

The producers always find a way to screw up the show and make it far less enjoyable.

I was so frustrated that I would yell at the television at least once an episode.

Q - What was it that I yelled,

in frustration,

at my television screen and my wife,

at least once an episode of Survivor China?

A = "WHY CAN'T THEY SHOW AMANDA'S BUTT!"

Seriously, why did they always blurr out Amanda's but?

They showed Jean-Robert's huge gut.

They showed Courtney (AKA Skeletor)'s emaciated body.

They showed Denise's pale, flabby, caveman body.

It made me literally cover my eyes on more than one occasion.

But no, America can't see Amanda's butt.

I can think of a few more offensive things that I have seen on television.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Saturday, December 15, 2007

New Music Player

I have embedded a new music player in the sidebar from Last FM.

It is loaded up with Christmas music right now, check it out.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Remastered Star Wars 2008

George Lucas has Remastered and tinkered with the original Star Wars movie again.

As technology changes, Lucas just can't help himself. He claims that he lacked the ability to truely realize his vision of Star Wars back in 1977.

Watch this clip from the remastered Star Wars 2008 and see if you can detect the changes.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

My Dad on History Channel

Q = Why did my parents (who are liberal, democrat, Unitarian Universalists) name me Jefferson Davis Turnipseed, when I was born in 1969?

To find out the answer, you must watch "1968 With Tom Brokaw" on The History Channel.

Tom Brokaw wrote a book titled "Boom! Voices of the Sixties: Personal Reflections on the '60s and Today". My dad is in the book. Now the book has been adapted to a television program on the History Channel, "1968 With Tom Brokaw."

Here is a link that discusses the show and mentions my dad(link).

"1968 With Tom Brokaw" is on The History Channel, tonight from 8 to 10 and then again from midnight to 2 am.

If you miss it tonight, it comes on again Saturday, December 15, at 5:00 pm Eastern time.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The Cruel Shoes

As I explained in the post below this one, in the mornings, my 4 year old son, Sam, always complains that his shoes and socks are hurting his feet.

It always reminds me of the Steve Martin short story "The Cruel Shoes"

To get the full effect, you must read the dialouge of Carlo and Anna with a ridiculous hispanic accent.

Cruel Shoes

Anna knew she had to have some new shoes today, and Carlo had helped her try on every pair in the store. Carlo spoke wearily, "Well, that's every pair of shoes in the place."

"Oh, you must have one more pair..."

"No, not one more pair... Well, we have the cruel shoes, but no one would want..."

Anna interrupted, "Oh yes, let me see the cruel shoes!"

Carlo looked incredulous. "No Anna, you don't understand, you see the cruel shoes are..."

"Get them!"

Carlo disappeared into the back room for a moment, then returned with an ordinary shoe box. He opened the lid and removed a hideous pair of black and white pumps. But these were not an ordinary pair of black and white pumps; both were left feet, one had aright angle turn with separate compartments that pointed the toes in impossible directions. The other shoe was six inches long and was curved inward like a rocking chair with a vise and razor blades to hold the foot in place.

Carlo spoke hesitantly, "... Now you see why... they're not fit for humans..."

"Put them on me."

"But..."

"Put them on me!"

Carlo knew all arguments were useless. He knelt down before her and forced the feet into the shoes.

The screams were incredible.

Anna crawled over to the mirror and held her bloody feet up where she could see.

"I like them."

She paid Carlo and crawled out of the store into the street.

Later that day, Carlo was overheard saying to a new customer, "Well, that's every shoe in the place. Unless, of course, you'd like to try the cruel shoes."

Monday, December 10, 2007

Existence of Dark Matter Confirmed

Sam is a terror to get dressed in the mornings and there is always a rush to leave on time for school.

Each successive article of clothing gets more problematic.

Shirt is usually ok, unless he insists on buttoning the buttons himself.

Pants is worse.

You pull the pants up and then there is a moment of silence and dread...

as you wait for him to stick out his bottom lip and scream...

"These do NOT fit!"

In Sam's defense, he does have a lot of large hand-me-downs and he is shaped like a lollipop, so he often needs a belt for his pants to stay on.

Socks and shoes almost always present a problem.

Apparently, if the socks don't match (exactly), then they don't "feel" right once the shoes get on.

Even if the socks match, you will almost always get one of these once you put the shoes on and endure the moment of silence and dread...

"no, No, NO!"

My 4 year old son has provided what has eluded astophysicists for years...

proof that dark matter exists.

It can't be seen or measured, but Sam can feel it in his socks and shoes.

All I can do is reach in the sock or shoe and pretend that I got the "bump", while hoping that I got the dark matter and the shoe will feel ok when I put it back on.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Lord of the Rings v Star Wars Movies

Here is a clip from the movie Clerks II where it is debated which movies are better, the LOTR movies or Star Wars Movies.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Friday, December 07, 2007

Best Band of Brothers?

The other night, I was watching "America's Next Band" or some such show.

It was terrible. The judges were; the singer for the Goo Goo Dolls, Sheila E., and a smart-mouth-english-guy that I had never heard of (wonder where they got that idea).

All of the bands on the show had to cover Rolling Stones songs.

One of the bands were 3 brothers and they played "Gimme Shelter" and added their own "Peace"lyrics at the end. LAME!

This got me thinking.

What is the best rock band where 2 of the members are brothers?

Leave a comment to vote.

I can think of many good band featuring brothers and many crappy bands featuring brothers.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Jonathan Lee Riches

In an earlier post, I asked who this is:

The responses were:

"Britney Spears", "Willa Cather", and "my mother's douche bag".

All wrong - It's actually Jonathan Lee Riches, or JLR for short.

JLR is known for the many lawsuits he has filed in various United States district courts. JLR is incarcerated at Federal Correctional Institution (FCI) Williamsburg in Salters, South Carolina, for wire fraud under the terms of a plea bargain. His projected release date is March 23, 2012.

Since January 8, 2006, JLR has filed dozens of lawsuits, some of which have received considerable press attention.

Remember when I told you about JLR's handwritten lawsuit seeking $63 quintillion from Michael Vick. That's $63,000,000,000,000,000,000.

JLR claimed that Vick stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to "use the proceeds to purchase missiles from the Iran government."

JLR also sued 57 pages of defendants in a single lawsuit on March 9, 2006, including:

George W. Bush, Hillary Rodham Clinton, James Hoffa, www.google.com, Pope Benedict XVI, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, John Deere, www.accuweather.com, Adolf Hitler's National Socialist Party, Roc-A-Fella Records, Shawn Carter (doing business at Jay-Z), Japan's Nikkei Stock Exchange, Gambino (crime family), Three Mile Island, Tony Danza, Islamic Republic of Iran, University of Miami, GEICO Insurance, Jewish State of Israel, Soledad O'Brien, Tsunami victims, The American Red Cross, Jessica Alba, Charles Moose, al-Qaida Islamic Arm,Fruit of A-Loom [sic], Outback Steakhouse, Donald J. Trump, Chris Berman, Shawn John Combs (doing business as Puff Daddy, doing business as Mr. Ditty [sic]), Vincent K. McMahon, Meals on Wheels, Saddam Hussein, Jewish workers at NBC/Universal, Elizabeth Smart, The Panama Canal Commission, Kelly Clarkston [sic], 13 tribes of Israel, Plato, Lincoln Memorial, Boris Becker, Various Buddhist monks, Christina Applegate, Jewish Mossad, National Vanguard Books, Mein Kampf, Venus Williams, Medieval Times, Denny's, Brotherhood of the Snake, Larry King, Larry King Live 9 p.m., Rastafarian natives, National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing, Ulluminati [sic], Wu-Tang Clan, Wu Wear Inc., Nordic gods, The Da Vinci Code, Sears Tower, Mike Tyson, Native American Fish Society, Green Bay's Lambeau Field, Pizza Hut, Ming Dynasty, Barry Bonds, Gangs in Hong Kong, Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, National Hockey League Players' Association, Philadelphia Eagles (2005 roster, including Donovan McNabb), The Waffle House, survivors of the Holocaust, Dane Cook, Paris Hilton, Dennis Hopper, Mount Rushmore, Skittles candy, and the celestial object Pluto...

Well, let me tell you about one of JLR's newest lawsuits. It's a one pager that claims to have been filed while JLR was in solitary confinement in a South Carolina Prison;

Jonathan Lee Riches, Plaintiff v. John W. Hinckley Jr.; Jodie Foster; St. Elizabeths Hospital; James Brady; Timothy McCarthy;Thomas DeLahanty.

JLR is seeking 25 Million dollars from Defendants for 8th amendment violations of cruel and unusual Punishment. The prison thinks JLR is the next John Hinckley and the prison is afraid JLR uses his Lawsuits as a weapon of mass destruction . . .
JLR is subjected to Used Boxers, No Cosmetics, no books, and screaming Inmates.
Hinckley told FCI Williamsburg to leave JLR in solitary, to rot, so JLR can be mummy wrapped in Ziploc and sent to the National Archives.
If JLR dies in solitary, He moves this court to know He will die as a martyr . . .
Hinckley is spreading plague to JLR's my mind.

Here is a link to the actual lawsuit (link).

I don't understand exactly how Jodie Foster fits in?

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Best Cartoons Ever - Rabbit Fire

Welcome to Best Cartoons Ever. To read earlier installments, click the Best Cartoons Ever link on the sidebar to the right.

"Rabbit Fire" is a 1950 Looney Tunes cartoon starring Bugs Bunny, directed by Chuck Jones.

The short, guest starring Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd, is notable for being the first film to feature a feud between Bugs and Daffy.

The "duck season/rabbit season" argument from this short became one of the most notable references of the Looney Tunes franchise, and is often imitated.

Monday, December 03, 2007

New Dukie V Book

So this weekend I am watching college basketball and Dick Vitale says:


"College basketball! Is there anything greater? We’re talking athleticism and excitement, pageantry and emotion! And we’re talking passion, my friends, passion unsurpassed. Whether it’s Christian Laettner hitting a turnaround jumpshot to defeat the Kentucky Wildcats in the greatest game ever played, or JJ Redick waving to his beloved admirers in venerable Cameron Indoor Stadium, you just can’t escape the conclusion - this is the greatest of sports! It's awesome, with a capital A!"


The funny thing is, Duke wasn't even one of the teams playing.


The above quote is from a new book about Dukie V.


From the website:


College basketball is hotter than ever, with Dick Vitale personifying America's passion for the game.


In recent years, however, the popular commentator has been criticized for his apparent love of Duke University. Fans are annoyed by his recurring tendency to launch into Duke tributes, regardless of the teams playing before him.


Equally annoying is an over-hyping of Duke in general. Many view Duke as the recipient of favoritism by game officials and the holder of an undeserved pristine image. Similarly, fans resent the description of Coach K-a man known for courtside profanity-as the ultimate "class act."


If you are one of the countless hoops fans who are nauseated by the media's love of Duke Basketball, then this book is for you. The book presents a season-long series of parody columns, each written to mimic "Dukie V's" lingo and cadence. Each column begins with a hot basketball issue, such as Florida's chances of repeating as national champions, but veers off-course as our hero spirals into gratuitous Duke drivel.


In addition to spoofing Dukie V, the columns poke fun at the purported greatness of Duke, a program that has managed three national championships in 100 years of basketball.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Thank God College Football is Almost Over.

Why am I glad that the 2007 College Football regular season is over and only the bowl games remain?

Is it because I don't like College Football?

No. I love College Football.

Is it because the Gamecocks and the Tarheels sucked this year?

Not really. I have fun tailgating at USC games and don't really care about UNC football?

It is because there is a word that I can't stand.

A word associated w/ College Football.

A noun.

A word that makes me cringe when I hear it.

I would hate the way this word sounds even if I didn't hate the object that it names.

A word that other people love to say as much as I hate to hear it.

I want College Football to be over just so I don't have to hear this word again for a few months.

"TEBOW"


Saturday, December 01, 2007

I'm Outta Here!

This may very well be my last post.

By this time next week I should be very rich and will probably never speak to any of you again.

Check out the text of an actuall e-mail that I got today.

ATTN:Turnipseed

I am Barr. Stuart Dickenson, the personal attorney to Dr. Timothy Turnipseed, a national of your country who passed away on the 24th of February 2005. My client, his wife and their only daughter were involved in a car accident along Rabat - Fes expressway (fes the Historical City) while on vacation.

Since their tragic death, I have made several enquires to locate any of their relatives to come forward and claim his inheritance which is valued at about $5.7m USD deposited in the bank and property valued at between $1m to $1.5m USD. Unfortunately, all my efforts in this direction have been fruitless. The bank recently served a notice that my deceased client's account will be confiscated and diverted to other purposes if nobody comes up to stand as his next of kin due to dormancy. Hence, I intensified my effort and through the web directories got your details and contacted you

I will therefore be glad if you can stand as the next of kin of my deceased client since both of you share the same lastname /surname so that the bank can release the fund to you. The fund will be shared in the ratio of 50% to you and 45% to me while the remaining 5% should be for expenses and tax as your Government may require. I wish to assure you that this transaction will follow all legal procedures that will protect you from any breach of the law and by this you have nothing to fear whatsoever.

I look forward to reading from you so that we can decide on how to proceed.

Thank you for your kind co-operation

Stuart Dickenson (Esq)


YOU CAN ALSO REACH ME THROUGH MY PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESS
(stuart.dickensonchambers01@yahoo.co.uk)


Kindly furnish me with the following information in order to expedite the process;
1. Your full name as stated in your international passport.
2. Your residence address, age and occupation.
3. Your Cell phone and Fax numbers for easier communication

Friday, November 30, 2007

Dear Sister - SNL Digital Short

Saturday Night Live has slowly but steadily gotten really lame over the past 10 years. We TiVo SNL and then end up watching the entire hour-and-a-half show in about 30 minutes after fast-forwarding through sucky skits.

Last season however, there was a something very funny on SNL. A digital short called "Dear Sister".

If you haven't seen "Dear Sister", here is the(link).

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Haiku - New Car Answers


It's A Honda Fit

No, It is not a Hybrid

I Am Liking It

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Q = What Time Is It?




A = Half Past Pathetic

Monday, November 26, 2007

Google Earth

What if there was a computer program that let you look at the earth like a spy satellite and then zoom in on anything you want.

Such a program does exists...

and it is free...

and it is called...

Google Earth

I have used Google earth to look at my house, my work building, and even my car.

This from Google earth website =

Google Earth combines the power of Google Search with satellite imagery, maps, terrain and 3D buildings to put the world's geographic information at your fingertips.

Fly to your house. Just type in an address, press Search, and you’ll zoom right in.
Search for schools, parks, restaurants, and hotels. Get driving directions.
Tilt and rotate the view to see 3D terrain and buildings, or look up to explore the sky
Save and share your searches and favorites.

Google Earth (Link).

Friday, November 09, 2007

Guilded Palace of Sin

Do you like Alt-Country music?

Country-Rock started way back in the 60's.

Turnipblog readers know that I love the year of my birth, 1969.

That is also the year the Flying Burrito Brothers released the great country/rock album Guilded Palace of Sin.

Here is the video for Christine's Tune.

The dude on the left with the pot leaf on his suit is none other than Gram Parsons, widely regarded as the first Country/Rock star.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Haiku - Lillian Ellison



Women's Champion

Finishing Move - Backbreaker

Fabulous Moolah

Monday, November 05, 2007

Water at Eb's

Welcome to "Today's Kids Got It Easy", where I discuss how much easier my kids have it than I did growing up in the 70's and 8o's.

Yesterday, my 8 year old daughter was telling me that one of her friends was going to get a refrigerator like ours.

"What do you mean 'Like Ours'?", I asked.

"With water.", she replied.

"They have to drink water out of the sink." she added, shaking her head in disgust.

I suddenly had a flashback to the 80's, Barmount drive in Whitehall subdivision...

Pick-up football in Eb Eager's back yard.

"Look out for the trampoline!"

It is hot, we are sweatty. My brown toughskins are sticking to my legs.


There is a break in the action.

Eb goes inside and I ask to use the bathroom and follow.

As I exit the bathroom and am walking towards the sliding glass door, I see Eb, in the kitchen, pouring a tall glass of Kool-Aid, with his mom standing close by.

"Can I have some?" I ask.

"There is'nt enough for everyone, there is a hose outside." Replies Eb.

We always had to drink from the outside garden hose at Eb's

These brats of today wouldn't have lasted 10 yards

or 2 completions

at Eb's.

Not Gay At All

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Best Football Play Ever?

Even if you saw highlights of this game on Sportscenter, you didn't see this incredible endzone angle.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Friday, October 26, 2007

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Mud - Dyna-mite

I am a big fan of Glam Rock.

Glam represents everything that was great about the 70's.

Little Kids love it.


Monday, October 22, 2007

Why Do I Like This?

I really don't know.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Milk Slurping

Welcome to "Today's Kids Got It Easy", where I discuss how much easier my kids have it than I did growing up in the 70's and 8o's.


When I was a kid I loved sugary breakfast cereal.


My kids love cereal also.


When I was a kid, after I had eaten all of my cereal (and then all of the marshmellows if it was Lucky Charms or a Monster cereal), I was always left with a half a bowl of sugary milk.


There is no way I was going to throw away all that good sugary milk, so I had to pick up the bowl, place my lips on the edge, tip up the bowl, and try to drink the sugary milk from the bowl.


Very awkward and messy.


Not today's kids.


These lazy little brats don't have to lift the bowl and never have sugar milk running down their neck.




Friday, October 19, 2007

1969 - Mahna Mahna

I was born in 1969.

I like to showcase 1969 on Turnipblog.

You may remember Mahna Mahna as the first ever segment on The Muppet Show, which debuted in 1976.

But, Mahna Mahna first appeared on Sesame Street and The Ed Sullivan show in 1969.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Best Album Contest

I love discovering new music.

I want Turnipblog readers to leave a comment telling me about the best music album or cd (whatever you want to call it) that you think I have never heard.

I will download the albums and write a review.

Whoever suggested the best album will win, something.

If you suggest an album that I have already heard - You lose.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Had to try it.

Have you ever walked into a store intending to purchase something, but then you saw something else that looked so good that you just had to try it?

Sometimes the opposite happens to me.

By that, I mean that sometimes I am in a store and see a product that looks so bad, that I can't resist trying it to see if it really is as awful as it looks.

Check out my latest impulse buy. When I saw it I thought, "It can't possibly be as bad as it looks


It is!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Ah! Leia!

This video explores the awkward relationship between Luke And Leia.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Crockpot Pork and Gravy

Super Easy! Super Good!

1. In the morning put a 1 to 3 lbs pork loin in the crock pot.

2. In a bowl, mix together a can of cream of mushroom soup, a can of golden mushroom soup, and a can of french onion soup.

3. Pour soups over pork.

4. Cook on low till ready to eat (meat will be tender, soups will make a yummy gravy).

5. Make some mashed potatoes (we use instant which takes about ten minutes)

6. Put mashed potatoes and some pork on each plate, top with gravy.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Tailgating Miracle

The night had disaster written all over it.

College football fans have but one college football game to choose from each Thursday night, the ESPN game.

This week the game was in Columbia SC where I live.

The Gamecocks were playing Kentucky, a team that the Gamecocks usually beat. But this year Kentucky was undefeated and ranked in the top 10 with a Heisman candidate quarterback.

The game kicked at 7:30 pm and we got to The Touchdown Zone at about 4:00 pm.

Leon and Kelly were in town from D.C. with their new baby. Jeff and Jessica were down from Boston. Even Chris Hill (the guy that talked us into buying the parking spot and now never shows up) was there.

We had planned to make Beaufort stew. I brought my cooker and most of the ingredients. Bart and Lindsay brought shrimp from Charleston, and Will brought sausage.

It was very overcast and there was an 80% chance of rain. Kentucky fans started showing up with "Believe The Hype" T-shirts. They honestly believed that they are now good at football.

It started to rain but we were able to light the cooker.

It started raining harder.

Was Kentucky really good?

Will started cutting sausage on the table. We had brought a really big knife with a point on the end. Sausage kept rolling off the cutting board and onto the dirty pavement.

It continued to rain.

Was Kentucky going to beat us on national television with everyone watching?

As a piece of sausage rolled off the cutting board, both Will and Bart reached for it at the same time. Iwas standing right there and watched Will stab Bart in the arm with the tip of the knife.

It continued to rain. Williams Brice looked like it may not be full.

Should I believe the Hype?

Things were looking terrible when a miracle happened.


A "Cockbow!"


Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Roots of Alt-Country - Byrds

I love discovering new music. I don't mean music that was recently recorded, I mean music that is new to me.

I like Alt-Country. In particular, Uncle Tupelo, Wilco, Son Volt, Jayhawks, Old 97's.

It is widely recognized that the band Uncle Tupelo started the Alt-country sound with their 1990 album "No Depression". Uncle Tupelo later split up with the members forming Wilco and Son Volt.

If you like alt-country then you might want to check out what was going on in the music scene in the late 1960's. I am going to help you.

If you have never heard The Byrds 1968 album "Sweethearts of the Rodeo", you need to.

Here is a video of the Byrds with Earl Scruggs covering a Bob Dylan song.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Danny Ferry Geeze

Danny Ferry was one of the most hated Duke white guy basketball players of all time.

After playing for Duke, hated Duke white guys either:

1. become Duke assistants, so as to remain close to Coach K (yes, in a gay way); or

2. go on to have crappy NBA careers.

Ferry took the later route and is now the General Manager of the NBA's Cleveland Cavaliers.

The Cavs just moved into a swanky new $25 million practice facility and when Ferry took the press into his new office during a showoff tour, he found a giant UNC logo painted on his wall and a Tarheel logo on his courtside window.

Ha! Ha! What a loser.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Greek

I TiVo the series premiere of shows all the time.

Once we watch the first episode, we often get a season pass, even if the show kind of sucks.

For instance, the season premiere of "Beauty and the Geek" seemed pretty blah, until this season's twist was revealed...

...are you ready for this...


...One of the couples is a Guy beauty and a Girl Geek!

We have watched the first 2 episodes and are totally sucked in.

This summer we got hooked on a summer-new-episodes-when-everything-else-is- re-runs show called Greek. I will catch you up on the first season.

"Greek" is a new TV show about The Greek system at fictional Cyprus-Rhodes University.
The main characters are younger brother Rusty and older sister Casey (played by Fraiser's daughter).

Rusty is a freshman math geek who wants to rush a frat. His roomate, Dale, is a super math geek and also a christian dork.

Casey, a junior, is second in command of a sorority and dates Evan (congressman's son and president of the rich guy frat).

Casey dated Cappie (charming, under-achieving president of party frat) her freshman year.

There is competition between Evan and Cappie and feelings between Casey and Cappie.

Casey's enemy, the super evil and rich Rebecca, slept with Evan on Rush night.

The president of the Sorority and Ashleigh (Casey's roomate) are beautiful.

Rusty pledged the party frat and is being mentored by Cappie who nicknamed Rusty "Spitter" because he spit liquor on a girl at a party.

Rusty started dating Lonelygirl from YouTube who ended up being a reporter who exposed the secrets of the sorority.

Rusty's friend Calvin is gay and pledged the Rich guy frat but then Ashleigh accidently out-ed him.


There you have it. Now you can start watching Greek with me next time real shows are in re-runs.

I can't wait for next season to find out if Rusty will tell Casey that Cappie slept with Rebecca.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

I Apologize for Clemson/PBR Comparison

In an earlier post, I compared Clemson to Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.

Clemson is lame for thinking they are a football school just because they won a National Championship way back in in 1981 and PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer) is the Clemson of beers for naming itself after a "blue ribbon" that it won as America's Best Beer way back in 1893.(link)

Well I apologize.

It is unfair to say that Clemson is as bad as PBR in trying to validate their current existence by harping on ancient achievements.




That's right, PBR won the gold medal for best American Style Premium Lager at the 2006 Great American Beer Festival.

So, I apologize to PBR for comparing their beer to a redneck school who thinks they are good because of something that happened over 25 years ago.

Oh yeah, PBR also didn't have to cheat in 1893 or 2006 like Clemson did in 81.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Tribute to Fenster

1997 - 2007
Rest In Peace
(Please imagine the Dukes of Hazzard Theme playing as you scroll down)