Monday, October 31, 2005

Kid Tip - Sleeping Dummy

Does your kid ever make you lay on the floor of his/her room before they will go to sleep? After you lay there awhile you may think that they are asleep; you check to make sure that their eyes are closed and then crawl slowly out of the room, only to have them wake up screaming for you to come back and lay down.

Well your sleepless nights of lower back pain are over thanks to Sleeping Dummy. Last week, the scenario outlined above played out with me and Sam. I layed down, thought he was asleep and crawled out of the room, only to have him immediately scream for me to come back. I came back and started over and then noticed a basket of clean clothes next to me on the floor. I remembered a little trick that I used to play on my parents when I snuck out of the house as a kid. The Sleeping Dummy. Below is a photo of the actual Sleeping Dummy that worked like a charm on Sam.

Supergrass - Road To Rouen Game

One of my favorite bands is Supergrass. Supergrass is Brit-Rock at its best. The most well known Supergrass song is Allright from their first album. Supergrass just released their 5th album, "Road To Rouen". Like all of their other albums, it is great.

To promote the album, you can play the "Road To Rouen" driving game for free. Drive to Rouen in record time and you could win signed merchandise. Here is a link to the game which features Supergrass music.

Road To Rouen Game

To find out more about Supergrass, here is their website: Supergrass.com

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Blue Bells - Winning Season

The Blue Bells finished the season with a winning record, 4-2-1.





I want to congratulate the girls and the only female coach in the entire Columbia Parks and Recreation, 4-5 year old girls soccer league, my wife, Cyndy Turnipseed.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Six Million Dollar Man Trivia

No one has answered my SMDM trivia from - this post.

Six Million Dollar Man Trivia - Can anyone tell me:

1. How Jamie Sommers was injured so that she needed bionics?


2. How the SMDM destroyed the 2 Venus Death Probes?

Friday, October 28, 2005

Haloween Party #2 - Junior Gamecock Club



Madeline With Cocky and Steve Spurrier.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

I'd like to solve the puzzle...

I have started a new feature where I will attempt to re-enact noteable quotes that I have heard throughout my life.

It was sometime in the 1980's and we were in Panama City, Florida watching television in the family cottage that we were vacationing in. Wheel Of Fortune was on and the contestants were trying to solve a phrase. Here is what letters were showing:

"_t takes one to know one."

As there was only one letter left, one of the contestants decided to solve the puzzle...

this is an audio post - click to play


I nearly choked on my Reese's Pieces. She probably didn't "phone home", to tell her family and friends what happened.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Franz Ferdinand - Terrible Band Name

I have been hearing of a band named Franz Ferdinand for about a year or so, but the name is so stupid that I was never interested in hearing the band. I saw Marty on Rock Star INXS sing one of their songs and it was pretty good, but the name is so stupid.




After my diving accident, I was sitting at home in my neck brace, in the recliner that I borrowed from my parents, watching Tivo, when I saw a great video "Do, Do, Do-ya Do-ya wanna?". It was Franz Ferdinand and it was good. I "aquired" all of their music and it is really good. My favorite FF song is Better On Holiday. FF's second album You Could Have Been So Much Better, was just released a few weeks ago and I have "aquired" it. The album debuted at #1 in England and FF were on SNL this weekend and in People magazine this week.

The point of all this is - good band, terrible name. The band is from Scotland, but to the historically challenged, the band name, "Franz Ferdinand", sounds French. I can not name one good band from France, ever.

Actually, the band is named for the Archduke Franz Ferdinand, whose assasinantion sparked the beginning of WWI. I don't question naming the band after a historical figure from such an important event, but the band missed a golden opportunity to name themselves after a much more compelling character from the same historical event:

A character who has a better name and played a much more active role;

A character pictured at right;

A character who I named a kitten after when I lived with Jeff Deloach (Deloach name his kitten after some philosopher named Cratylus, Postmodern Chet would have to tell you Cratylus's teachings);

Thats, right Princip

Gavrilo Princip (1894-1918) was born in June or July 1894, the son of a postman. One of nine children, six of whom died in infancy, Princip's health was poor from an early age: his eventual death was caused by tuberculosis.

After attending schools in Sarajevo and Tuzla, Princip left for Belgrade in May 1912. While in Serbia Princip joined the secret Black Hand society, a nationalist movement favouring a union between Bosnia-Herzegovina and Serbia.

Princip was one of three men sent by the Black Hand, to assassinate Archduke Franz Ferdinand, the heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne, during his visit to Sarajevo on 28 June 1914. The three men were instructed to commit suicide after killing the Archduke. To this end they were each given a vial of cyanide, along with a revolver and grenades. Each of the men suffered from tuberculosis and consequently knew that they did not have long to live, also no one would live to tell who was behind the assassination.

Franz Ferdinand arrived in Sarajevo on 28 June 1914. Seven members of the Black Hand lined the route due to be taken by the Archduke's cavalcade and one of the men threw a grenade at the Archduke's car. The driver took evasive action and quickly sped from the scene. The grenade exploded under another car, injuring others.

Ferdinand attended a reception at the city hall and complained vociferously about his reception at the city.

"What is the good of your speeches? I come to Sarajevo on a visit, and I get bombs thrown at me. It is outrageous!"

Following the reception the Archduke determined to visit those injured in the grenade explosion at the city hospital. it was decided that the motorcade should take an alternate route to the hospital, avoiding the city centre altogether. However the driver of Ferdinand's car, Franz Urban, was not informed of the change of plan and so took the original route.

Turning into Franz Joseph Street, General Potiorek, who was a passenger in Ferdinand's car, noticed that the altered route had not been taken. He remonstrated with the driver who in turn slowed the car and then began to reverse out of the street.

Gavrilo Princip, who happened to be in Franz Joseph Street at a cafe, seized his opportunity, and took aim at Ferdinand from a distance of five feet. His bullets struck the Archduke in the neck and his wife, Sophie, who was travelling with him, in the abdomen, the couple died soon afterwards.

After the shooting Princip made to turn his gun upon himself but was seized and restrained by a man nearby, aided by several policemen. He was arrested and taken to a police station.

Gavrilo Princip, was imprisoned for and died of tuberculosis on 28 April 1918.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Fun with a friend.

Here is something fun to do with a friend.

First, Go make a recording of street construction with a jackhammer and/or heavy machinery; if possible, do it standing in the doorway of a video poker den or casino. Then burn a disc of your recording.

Then build a giant metal paper towel tube with a 4 foot opening and put it in a small room.

Then take off your clothes and put on a gown that ties in the back.

Then lie on your back on a surfboard and let your friend strap you to the surfboard and then slide you inside the metal tube. Make sure that you are entirely in the tube and that the tube is no more than 4 inches from your face (this may take additional surfboards).

Then have your friend scratch the crap out of that cd you burned and play the scratched cd, full blast, in a cd player, the speakers of which have been duct-taped to the metal tube.

Now try to lie perfectly still, for 20 minutes and if you move too much, you have to start over.

I know what you're thinking...

Q = Is this dangerous?
A = No, but for some reason you can't bring any metal into the small room.

Q = What if you get claustrophobic and/or have a panic attack?
A = Don't worry, your friend is another room and can talk to you over a fast food drive-through intercom system.

Sound like fun, you just experienced getting an MRI.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Bob Seger Game Revisited

Those who know me well know that I think Bob Seger is the worst recording artist ever - based on the fact that he has so many songs that sound so different but that each suck in their own unique way.

Last week, I started the Bob Seger Game - Where we name as many Bad Bob Seger songs as we can, from memory (this means no googleing). You can only name 3 songs at a time. Here are the 4 entries so far:

1. Against the Wind with the classic line,
"We were young and we were running, against the wind."

The idea of running against the wing is ridiculous. Couldn't he think of something a little more difficult, like running through sand or running up a gradual incline.

2. "She gives them quite a battle
All that they can handle
She’ll bruise some
She’ll hurt some too
But oh they love to watch her strut
Oh they do respect her but
They love to watch her strut"

3. "who wants to break the news about uncle joe
you remember uncle joe, he was the one afraid to cut the cake... "
(Fire Lake)
all-time Bob Seger crapola

4. Simile - is the comparison of two unlike things using "like" or "as".

The most idiotic simile of all time is credited to Bob Seger:

Like A Rock

So come on, who is next. I know that there are many more crappy Seger Songs.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Haloween Party # 1


We took the kids to Haloween 2005 Party #1, with the "playgroup". Madeline was a winged fairy and Sam started as a witch, but quickly shed his hat and cape to become a "fireman" when 2 older boys were firemen. By the end of the party Sam was just running around with a "fightsword" (stick) in his pocket and said he was "Darth Vader".

Two of the girls ran up to the parents and complained that the boys were chasing them. One of the mothers suggested that the girls stop running and tell the boys that they wanted to kiss ... those boys took off through the woods like they had seen a ghost.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

New Link - Krebby's Scatterverse

I have added a new link to turnipblog contributer Kebby's Scatterverse

  • scatterverse
  • Friday, October 21, 2005

    Thursday, October 20, 2005

    Mullets Galore

    Comments have been down this week and I feel as though I may have offended some Bob Seger fans. So, in an effort to re-invigorate Turnipblog, I am pulling out the big guns. That's right, Mullets.


    If you don't already know, A mullet is a haircut. You know what I'm talking about, "business in the front, party in the back". A favorite of soccer players and lesbians everywhere. In this photo, circa 1991, I am seen sporting a semi-mullet. Anyway, here is a link to a website about mullets:

  • Mullets Galore
  • No Adults Please

    If you read This Post, then you know that I hate it when adults get into pictures of my children. Whether it is a veiny leg, flabby arm, or shirtless grandfather, they ruin the photo.


    Here is a perfect example from Sam's trip to the farm/pumpkin patch last week.

    Award winning photo, right?

    Wrong, not when it looks like Sam is wearing some kind of Colonial-flabby-granny-arm-hat.

    Wednesday, October 19, 2005

    Old West Tales - Music Class

    For an introduction to Old West Tales, click here: Old West Tales - Introduction

    I finished My Freshman year at UNC with a 2.1 GPA. I had not yet decided a major, so while I lived in Old West, I worked on my liberal arts, General College requirements. First semester I decided to take an interesting class and chose an Introduction To Music class. We would learn to read music, compose our own song, and there was no pre-requisite, which meant that no music training was required and it would be easy. (NOT!)

    The music class was impossible for me. Everyone else in the class could already read music and knew how to play piano or other instruments. (Somehow I "placed-out" of every introductory class in any subject that I knew anything about - thanks alot Irmo High School.)

    Our grade would be based on a series of exams and also the final project, where we would be composing a song. The exams all had 2 parts, a written part taken in the classroom with everyone else, and a performance part taken one-on-one with the professor in a little room. For example: During our first classroom exam, the professor said, "OK, I am going to clap out a rhythm and you will take rythmic dictation." The second part of each exam was student, alone with the professor and a piano, in a small room. During my first one-on-one exam, the professor handed me a rhythmic dictation and I had to clap it out.

    All of the exams had the same format, but got exponentially more difficult. I was Ok at the written tests. I could look at written music and tell you what all the parts were, and what the numbers and "cleffs" meant, but I could not hear the music in my head. Like wise, if I heard music, I could not imagine what it would look like on paper.

    Of course everyone else in the class had no problems and were cruising through with a minimum of effort.

    I was looking forward to the final exam. I made up what I thought was a nice little tune and got my friend Bob to write it out in the form of music for me. It just so happened to be my friend Robin's birthday the day I turned my song in, so I named it "Robin My Love". When I got "Robin My Love" back with a big fat "D" on it, Robin posted it on her Cobb dorm-room bulletin board. I tried to get Robin's roomate, Amelia, to play "Robin My Love" on the piano, but she said it was impossible.

    I made a D+ in the class, I can't read music, and I have long since forgotten anything that I may have learned in the class. But guess what, I don't need no class to appreciate music, or a professor to tell me that John Coletrane is good and Kenny G sux. I learned all I need to know about music from the streets.

    Accordingly, From the music class experience, I learned a valuble life lesson -

    Sometimes easy is better than interesting.

    I was not so great at the performance exams during music class, taken in the little room. One time, no crap, I walked into the little room, sat down, and the professor said, "Ok, to start with, sing any major scale." I had no clue and stood there for a moment. Then I remembered The Von Trapp children, and how Maria had taught them to sing a major scale with a catchy song about forest animals. I gathered my breath and went for it:

    this is an audio post - click to play

    Tuesday, October 18, 2005

    Maynard Shepard on Shin-guards

    I am starting a new feature where I will attempt to re-enact noteable quotes that I have heard throughout my life.

    This first one was an assistant soccer coach named Maynard Shepard, speaking to the kids on the importance of wearing shin-guards.

    this is an audio post - click to play

    Monday, October 17, 2005

    Sunday, October 16, 2005

    My 70's Memories - 6 Million Dollar Man

    Colonel Steve Austin, a NASA test pilot barely survived a near fatal crash.

    Narrator: "Steve Austin, astronaut. A man barely alive." Oscar Goldman: "Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster."

    Austin is "rebuilt" in an operation that costs six million dollars. His right arm, both legs and the left eye are replaced by bionic (cybernetic) implants that enhance his strength, speed and vision far above human norm. He uses his enhanced abilities to work for the OSI as a secret agent.

    This show was on from 1974 to 1978 and I loved it and had the action figures (you could look through the bionic eye).

    In the second season, Austin defeated the out-of-control seven million dollar man despite only costing 6/7ths as much. We also met ex-tennis pro Jamie Sommers who became the bionic woman, and love interest of Steve Austin. (She would later get her own show and there would be a bionic boy and bionic dog, Max.)

    In the third season of The Six Million Dollar Man, it all came together for me, a zen-like convergence of three of the coolest things imagineable.

    TV Nirvana.

    Thats right: the Six Million Dollar Man fought Bigfoot who came to earth in a UFO. The only way it could have been better is if a Loch Ness Monster made out of Legos appeared, but that would have been far fetched and not believable.

    The fourth season brought more Bigfoot and the first Venus Death Probe, while the fifth season brought yet more Bigfoot and a second Venus Death Probe.

    SMDM trivia - Can anyone tell me:
    1. How Jamie Sommers was injured?
    2. How the two Venus Probes were destroyed?

    The Cantonese-dubbed version of the show had the following opening narration: (English translation)

    "Astronaut - Steve Austin, critically injured after the accident. After doctors' diagnoses, in their opinion that they can modify him... into a man whose left eye, right hand, both legs that are unlike anyone else's. This modification finally succeeded. Steve Austin is now strong, agile, wise and brave combined."

    Saturday, October 15, 2005

    Blue Bells - 3 and 2

    Blue Bells had 2 games this week. Thursday night make-up game we lost 4 to 2. Madeline had strep throat and couldn't play.

    Today, Madeline had her birthday party at building buddies at 3:00 and the soccer game was at 10:00. Last night it was decided that since she would no longer be contagious, Madeline would go to the game, but not play, so that she would not be sick for her party. This morning, Madeline felt great, had no fever, and said that she wanted to play; so we decided to dress her in her uniform but not her shin guards and cleats. The plan was that she might play fourth quarter.

    As soon as the game started, the other team scored a quick goal and I started getting worried. Luckily, it was the best Blue Bell performance yet, and we won 5 or 6 to 1, with Laura, Karina, Rosemary, Caroline, and Madeline scoring goals.

    Friday, October 14, 2005

    The Bob Seger Game

    Those who know me well know that I think Bob Seger is the worst recording artist ever - based on the fact that he has so many songs that sound so different but that each suck in their own unique way.

    Here is the game, let's name as many Bad Bob Seger songs as we can, from memory (this means no googleing). You can only name 3 songs at a time. I will get the ball rolling:

    1. Against the Wind with the classic line,
    "We were young and we were running, against the wind."

    The idea of running against the wing is ridiculous. Couldn't he think of something a little more difficult, like running through sand or running up a gradual incline.

    You remember the old joke; "When I was your age we walked 5 miles to school, in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways...." Well I have never heard any version of that joke that includes "against the wind".

    Also, could you name your band after a worse beer?