Blackberry Pie

We have a "common area" behind our new house. I call it a "common area" but it could just as easily be called a "tall weed area with drainage ditches".

In this common area grow wild blackberries. We have been picking them and the ones that I can keep Sam from eating immediately, I have been saving in a container in the refrigerator. I finally saved up 2 cups of wild blackberries and made a pie.

The pie actually looks better than it tasted, but it does compliment vanilla ice cream quite well.

Pluto - 2 New Moons and Looming Relegation.

In school I learned that Pluto was the ninth Planet from the Sun.

Pluto has a moon, or partner, named Charon. Charon doesn't orbit Pluto, they both orbit a center of gravity between them.

Now, a pair of small moons that NASA's Hubble Space Telescope discovered orbiting Pluto have official names: Nix and Hydra. Photographed by Hubble in 2005, Nix and Hydra are roughly 5,000 times fainter than Pluto and are about two to three times farther from Pluto than its large moon, Charon, which was discovered in 1978.

Right now there is a Nasa spacecraft on the way to Pluto(link), and by the time it get there, Pluto will no longer be considered a planet.

Pluto has more in common with Kupier Belt Objects than the other planets and scientists keep finding more and more objects that resemble Pluto. We can't start calling all of these objects "planets" even if they are named after Zena the Warrior Princess. (link) (link). Sooner or later Pluto will be relegated from planethood.

My kids will not learn that Pluto is a planet.

Team USA World Cup Theme Song

The World Cup is over for the USA as we got beat 2 to 1 by Ghana today.

The good news is that in three 90 minute games, we managed to score a total of 1 goal.

Clint Dempsey didn't end up being the star like I predicted, but dempesey did score our only goal and Dempsey and Steve Cherungelo(sp.) were the only two US players that were any good in our 3 games.

Bruce Arena should be, and will be, fired.

I have recorded a new Team USA World Cup Theme Song

My 70's Memories - Which Witch?

Which Witch? is a 1970, Milton Bradley three dimensional haunted house race game. Players would move their children pawns around the game board trying to be the first to escape the haunted house by reaching the charmed circle at the top of the stairs. Players would pick cards with one of three witches on them. Wanda the Wicked would turn you into a mouse and you couldn't move till you got a good witch card and were turned back into a child.

If someone picked a Ghoulish Gerty card, then the fun really started. Gertie would drop the whammy ball down the chimney and it would shoot out one of four rooms of the haunted house. If you were standing on the staircase or one of the danger spots, a swinging broom, loose floor boards, moving wall, or the ball itself, might knock your child (or mouse) back to a safe spot.

Idol Searches Lead to Turnipblog

This is my last American Idol post for this season. I am trying to move on, but I must pander to my base. A lot of people find Turnipblog while searching the internet for American Idol stuff.

Below is a list of actual internet searches where Turnipblog was one of the results and then someone actually looked at Turnipblog: (my comments follow each search)

Google Searches
kellie picklers butt photo (Does one exist?)
photo shots of kellie Picklers new haircut (New hair, same dumb)
kelly pickler in augusta georgia (That sounds about right)

alta vista Search
katherine mcphee wardrobe malfunction pics (You saw em here first)

Ask.com
what meatloaf song did katherine mcphee sing (see below)
what song did katherine mcphee sing with meatloaf (see below)
what song did Katherine McPhee sing with Meatloaf? (A bad one)
Who wrote the song, "Do I Make You Proud" (Don't know)

yahoo searches
katharine mcphee feet pics (That's sick)
meatloaf katharine mcphee breast (They look nothing like meatloaf)
katharine mcphee photos of her butt (I do take requests, see below)
katharine mcphee meatloaf pics (I don't care if she can cook)
mcphee button cleavage (Propelled her to the finals)
"Katharine McPhee gallery" (.... What Turnipblog has become?)
pics of kellie picklers new hair (Don't make her look smarter)

World Cup Update

The USA played much better in it's second game. Although we tied Italy 1-1, we didn't actually score the goal as it was an own-goal, kicked in by an Italian player.

On my suggestion, Coach Arena pulled Landon Donovan back into the midfield and replaced Demarcus Beasley in the starting lineup with Clint Dempsey, who was easily the best USA player on Saturday. To advance out of group play, the US will have to beat Ghana on Thursday. We might actually have to score a goal to do that. Do I hear "Eddie Johnson"?

Soccer names bother me.

There is a defender for Argentina named "Hienze".

Looks like it would be pronounced the same as a well known catsup brand, right.

Wrong, it is pronounced "Heen-Say"

Then there is the French player whose name is pronounced "Hon-Ree", but it is spelled "Henry".

That is why the Brazil game this weekend was so refreshing. A Brazilian sub came into the game and scored a goal. The guy and the team went crazy because the guy was obviously a grub. His name was both spelled and pronounced "Fred".

Hundreds of Dutch fans had to watch their team’s 2-1 win over the Ivory Coast in their underwear in Stuttgart on Friday after stewards at entry points to the stadium rumbled an ambush marketing ploy.

The Netherlands supporters all turned up in garish orange lederhosen displaying the name of Dutch brewery Bavaria and were ordered to remove them by stewards before being allowed to enter the Gottlieb-Daimler-Stadion.

They then went into the match and watched it in their underwear.

Anheuser Busch’s Budweiser is the official beer for the tournament and world football’s governing body fiercely protects its sponsors from brands which are not FIFA partners.

TiVo Update

There were only 2 things on TV last week...

Kid Tip - Hot Sauce

Does your kid say bad words and/or spit?

How do you get them to stop?

You tried washing their mouth out with soap, but they actually thought that the soap tasted good and asked for more.

The answer...

Hot Sauce.

Just a drop or two of hot sauce on the tounge will make almost any kid think twice about saying bad words.

At my house, we only have to get up abruptly and stomp towards the refrigerator and Sam starts yelling "No Hot Sauce!"

Don't Be "That Guy"

I love the show Last Comic Standing. This is the show where stand up comedians live in a house together and compete a la American Idol.

Of the comics that made it to the house this season, I like Ty Barnet and Chris Porter the best.

Josh Blue or Fattikens Iglesias will probably win Last Comic Standing this season. Josh and Iglesias are funny, but all they do is make fun of their own physical appearance...

Like Dat Phan, the vietnamese-american-guy who won the first season of LCS by imitating his mother and speaking in oriental-karate-jibberish...

and former LCS contestant Ant, the jazzy-hands-gay-guy. Not even a little bit funny.

I like comics who are just funny and don't have to be...


the fat-hispanic-guy or...



the neurological-condition-guy.

Kelly Pickler Central

Today, 4 different people did a Google search for Kelly Pickler and looked at the number 7 search result, Turnipblog.

If you are looking for info on Pickler, her first name is spelled "Kellie" and you are in the right place. Please check out these Kelly Pickler Links.

link, link, link, link, link, link

2006 Idol Scandal

Every year there is an American Idol Scandal where a contestant is hooking up with a judge or another contestant. This year was no different.

Cock-A-Witch

Until further notice, Wednesday is Witch Day on Turnipblog

JJ Redick - DWI

This just in, JJ Redick is a Duke-Wuss-Idiot.

In a related story:

J.J. Redick was charged with driving while impaired early Tuesday morning.

Police had set up a checkpoint in Durham, and Redick made an illegal U-turn to avoid the stop. Officers pulled him over at an apartment complex around 1 a.m.

The officer reported a strong smell of alcohol on Redick's breath and described the former Duke player's eyes as "very glassy" during the stop. Police charged Redic with driving under the influence and illegal use of highways.

Redick spent three hours inside the Durham County Jail before a friend posted his $1,000 cash bond. He was released around 4 a.m.

Records indicate that Redick's blood alcohol level was 0.11 when he was booked at the Durham County Jail early Tuesday. The legal limit for drivers in North Carolina is 0.08.

Redick's drivers license was revoked for 30 days. He is scheduled to appear in court in Durham on July 17th.

USA Loss - Clemson's Fault

Today the USA again showed that, when it comes to soccer, we are grubs. The USA was totally dominated by the Czech Republic and beaten 3 to 0.

Does the lopsided score mean that Czech Republic is that good, or that we are that bad?

Czech Republic is that good. There is no USA player that even comes close to Tomas Rosicky (photo at right) or Pavel Nedved. And the Czechs didn't even have one of their top strikers, Barros.

We were that bad.

Especially Demarcus Beasley and former Clemson player Oguchi Onyewu. How could Onyewu and Eddie Pope lose Czech striker Jan Koller on the first goal? The guy is 6 foot 7. Then Onyewu headed the ball right to Rosicky for the second goal. Thanks alot Clemson.

Coach Arena also made mistakes. Arena should have gone with the starting line-up that I suggested in this post(link): John O-Brien should have started instead of Mastroeni. Landon Donovan should have started in the midfield and not as a striker where he never got the ball. Eddie Johnson should have started at striker in Donovan's place.

Where was Clint Dempsey? For the next game, get Beasley out of there and start Dempsey.

Great Music - Pink Floyd

Pink Floyd is one of the best bands ever.

When Pink Floyd first formed around 1966, they were led by a wierd dude named Syd Barret who wrote the songs and did a lot of LSD. During this time period Pink Floyd kind of sucked. Luckily for music fans, Syd Barret was so crazy (He would later be institutionalized) that he was replaced around 1968 by guitar player David Gilmour.

Pink Floyd, with David Gilmour(guitar/vocals), Roger Waters(bass/vocals), Richard Wright(keyboards), and Nick Mason(drums), went on to become one of the greatest rock bands of all time. Probably the most famous Progressive Rock Band.

In my opinion, the first great Pink Floyd album is 1971's Meddle, with every album after that also being different and good.

Roger Waters left the band in 1985, so any album after The Final Cut is not true Pink Floyd but is still good.

Pink Floyd was known for their concept albums (where all of the songs are based on a single story or concept as opposed to just being a collection of random songs), elaborate concerts, and album art.

Pink Floyd is also knowm for having some long songs such as: "Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Parts 1-9)" (25:40); "Echoes" (23:29); and "Dogs" (17:08)

Pink floyd also has some of the coolest song names of any band such as: "Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict"; "Careful with That Axe, Eugene"; and "Alan's Psychedelic Breakfast."

Pink Floyd related memory - When I was in high scool, me and a few of my friends made fake ID's and went to a bar in downtown Columbia and saw Clearlight, Reflections of Pink Floyd, a Pink Floyd cover band. The guy at the door could tell we were underage, but didn't care.

Pink Floyd Trivia - Pink Floyd's 1973 album Dark Side Of The Moon is the second best selling album of all time behind Michael Jackson's Thriller.

For more about Pink Floyd, check out this website(link).

In Search Of - Fart Lighting

Welcome to In Search Of... 2006, where I will probe great mysteries and deal in cold hard fact and not psuedo-science.

Many people have heard of fart lighting, but few have witnessed it first-hand.

It makes sense, farts are gas (mostly methane) and gas burns, so maybe farts do also.

I am here to tell you that fart lighting is very real. The secret is that only a select few are able to actually light their farts.

That is right, only male virgins have ever been observed lighting farts.

Here is a Here is a link to a website devoted to the subject(link).

SEAT

I had forgotten about SEAT until Paydirt reminded me. I wanted to write a post about SEAT, but I figured that no one would believe me. This is not a photo of SEAT, just an exemplar. Please, if you knew me in the early 80's and know about SEAT, tell Turnipblog readers.

T-Ball and Gymnastics

Madeline just finished her first season of T-Ball and Sam got his first sports trophy for Gymnastics.

Great Lawyers - Judge Presnell

I am a lawyer. Lawyers sometimes can have a negative image in today's society. That is why I am introducing a new feature on Turnipblog, "Great Lawyers", where I will spotlight great lawyers of whom I am proud.

Judge Gregory A. Presnell of Orlando, Fla. is a great judge.

Faced with the inability of two bickering attorneys to resolve even the most innocuous scheduling questions without his intervention, Presnell, a Florida federal judge yesterday ordered the two to meet on the steps of the federal courthouse and resolve their latest quarrel by playing one (1) game of "rock, paper, scissors".

Judge Presnell ordered the unusual measure, which he characterized as "a new form of alternative dispute resolution," after the two Tampa attorneys had proven unable to agree upon where to hold a deposition, even though both of their offices are just four floors away in the very same building in Tampa.

Here is a link where you can read the judges order(link)

Guess The TV/Sitcom Character

Here is a link to an amazing website that asks you to pretend to be a TV/Sitcom character and then answer "yes" or "no" questions. The website then guesses what character you are(link).,

It is really cool.

World Cup - Ronaldinho

In Soccer, the best players are known by only one name.

Right now, the best soccer player in the world is Ronaldinho, from Brazil. Ronaldinho plays club ball in the spanish "La League-a" and will be playing for Brazil in the World Cup that starts June 9.

Ronaldinho has some sick moves, mad skills, and loves to poster-ize other players. Check out these videos from You Tube:

(link),(link),(link),(link),(link)

Thank You!

I thought that the number of visits to Turnipblog would plumit from my being unable to post new posts for a week, but I only dropped from 21 visits a day to 17 visits a day.

I owe a big thanks to those responsible for keeping Turnipblog going during my absence.

No, not you Czen, but thanks for trying to help.

I am talking about Google. Here is a list of 9 google searches (with my comments) that brought web surfers to Turnipblog during the week that I had no new posts. The highlighted text below are actual google searches that yielded Turnipblog as a result and then someone actually looked at Turnipblog.:

1. Ultraman Hayata en Frozen Layer - (I am not familiar with this Ultraman episode, but I am sure he used the hand-crossing-ray to escape.)

2. upcoming bands near albermarle nc - (Kellie Pickler might be performing at the strip-mall or Applebee's.)

3. ummagumma backmasking - (Someone looking for hidden messages on Pink Floyd Albums.)

4. singer meatloaf's lawsuit - (Bat Out Of Hell III, it's time to move on.)

5. "dipping dots" blogspot - (Half the Ice Cream, double the price.)

Three American Idol Related Searches;

6. shon-tai hingleton - (Childhood name of Palindrome Idol Contestant.)

7. mcphee,katharine music feature:audio - (I can do better than that, see below.)

8. pics of katharine mcphee breasts - (Can do.)

And Last But Not Least;

9. superkids boys muscle opra - (Turnipblog was the number one result for this disturbing search.)

I'm Back

I was unable to make new posts to Turnipblog from May 30 to June 7.

I am really P-O'ed at Blogger. I expected more from a free blogging service.

This morning, June 7, I have gone back and posted some drafts that I was unable to post for May 31, June 1 and June 2.

So, this post for June 3 is actually being written on June 7.

Confusing, isn't it. Don't worry, by the time you read a post for June 8, we will be back to real-time.

Kindergarten Graduate

(Click to enlarge)

My 70's Memories - Chew of Choice

Were you a kid in the late 70's early 80's?

If so, I have one question for you?




Bubble Yum, Bubblicious, or Hubba Bubba?

We are talking pre-Big League Chew, so don't even try.

For me, Bubble Yum all the way.