Leon's Bachelor Party

My good friend Leon Spencer is getting married this weekend. Saturday night was Leon's Bachelor party. We ended up at a gentleman's club. It was very late and very smoky so I walked outside for some fresh air.

Two girls were arguing just outside the club. One said to the other "I don't care what you do!" and went inside. The remaining girl then proceeded to have a full blown Tonic-Clonic, or Grand Mal, seizure. She fell to the ground right beside me and started convulsing. Soon she was lying on her back with her head facing down a long flight of cement steps. I was afraid she was going to bash her head open or vibrate her way down the steps, so I grabbed her and held the back of her head. Her eyes were rolled way back in her head and she was foaming at the mouth. Soon a bouncer came and we both held her. The seizure lasted well over a minute. Eventually, she quit convulsing and would look at someone trying to speak to her, but she couldn't talk. Another bouncer came and they carried her down the steps.

I came back outside to check on her a few minutes later and she was sitting up, babbling incoherently on her cell phone. The bouncer went inside and found her friend. They started arguing again and the girl refused to believe that she had had a seizure. She started demanding a cell phone to call 911 to report that her friend had stole her purse (?). The friend and bouncers refused to give her a phone, or call the police for her. Finally, her friend coaxed her into a car and they left.

Now for the interesting part of my story. While inside the club we were sitting at a table. A young lady came up beside me and started asking if I wanted I private dance. I refused to make eye contact and started shaking my head "no" vigorously.

The girl asked Brian, who was sitting next to me "Is He Gay?"

Brian leaned over and told the girl something and she took off faster than I would have thought possible for someone wearing a leapord-skin bodysuit.

Brian started laughing and then he told me what he had said to the girl and we both laughed for a couple of minutes. When she asked "Is he gay?", Brian answered...



..."No, he ran out of money."